Bound
by apk1980
Summary: Recently divorced Bella befriends a man who is bound by complicated and tragic circumstances. Their relationship is impossible. Their attraction is undeniable. AH
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Twilight. I do own this plot.**

I'd like to say my divorce was a shock. That it was in no way my fault and I was the victim of some hideous mistreatment by my husband. The truth, though, is that sometimes love just fades away. Sometimes, the love you thought would carry you through your life together really just isn't enough.

I had, at one point, loved Edward Cullen with everything inside me. He was my high school sweetheart. He miraculously talked me into marrying him at the crazy young age of eighteen. We went off to college together and when things got tough, financially, I took a job as a waitress to help support us. After he completed med school, I decided to finish college, but truly didn't know what I wanted to do. I decided to major in my best subject, English. After graduation, I was offered a teaching position. It wasn't really something I loved, but it payed the bills.

Over the years, we spent less and less time connecting. When we were home together, we were still separate. He'd play the piano or watch movies while I read or cooked. Our conversations became more generic until we were barely polite. We had sex so seldom it was impossible to recall how long ago it had actually been. Our relationship was dying.

Neither of us made a move to correct or end our marriage, however. We both just existed. Until the day Tanya Denali breezed into our world. She was a new surgeon to the area and, really, she and Edward just clicked. I chose to believe him when he swore that they hadn't been physical, but he couldn't deny his growing attraction to her. He was falling in love and I was, shockingly, almost happy for him. He deserved to be loved in a way I simply couldn't anymore.

So, after fourteen years of marriage, I was moving on. I asked for a divorce, packed my bags, and temporarily moved in with my dad back in Forks. My dad was amazing about the entire situation. He and his girlfriend, Sue, made sure I was comfortable and they kept me busy. Even so, I felt like an intruder. I was thirty-two years old, living in my purple childhood bedroom.

I decided to get off my ass and do something. I filled out applications, securing a job at Forks High School for the following school year. I called a real estate agency and began the search for my new house. Edward and I sold our home when we divorced and, thankfully, I had a hefty sum of money to help me get back on my feet as soon as possible.

I looked at so many houses. I really had a hard time finding just what I was looking for and I just wasn't willing to settle. Finally my very patient, very sweet real estate agent and newest friend, Angela, called me with some news.

000

"Bella, it's Angela. Call me as soon as you get this message. I think I have something you'll want to see."

I called her back as soon as I got the message and she instructed me to a house that was off the beaten path a bit. She gave me directions, and after explaining to me that you really couldn't see the house from the street, she decided to come pick me up, instead.

She was beaming as I climbed into her sleek car. "I'm really excited about this, Bella. It needs a little work, but it's so charming. The little architectural details throughout the house are going to blow your mind." I smiled at her enthusiasm, but I wasn't really interested in a fixer-upper and I told her so.

"Just keep an open mind. That's all I ask," she said with a small grin. We pulled into the very hidden, very long driveway. It seemed to wind forever before opening to a lovely cleared yard. "This house has three acres. It has a stocked fishing pond, fruit trees, a lovely fenced garden, and the most amazing porches," Angela gushed as we drove up to the house.

It was beautiful. My eyes were glued to the house. It was gray and graceful, with a wraparound porch and lots of windows with the sweetest window boxes. I fell in love before I left the car.

As I walked through the house, I was able to look past all the little things that were in need of repair.

All I could see were the things I loved: the window seat in the bedroom, the claw-foot tub in the master bathroom, the beautiful hardwood floors. The kitchen was in need of a renovation, but I saw so much potential in the butcher block island and the farmhouse sink. I wanted this house. I wanted it so much, my belly ached for it.

We walked out the back door from the kitchen and if there had been any doubt in my mind before, it was completely erased. The back porch was large and screened in and it overlooked the loveliest pond with a small fishing pier.

By the time we had walked the property and I walked though the house one more time, I was ready to make an offer. Angela had the paperwork with her and we sat right at the island and filled it all out. "I should know something before the weekend," she promised.

As she drove me home, I asked her if she knew any handymen. I figured I would need to hire someone to help me with the repairs around the house. Luckily, they all seemed to be cosmetic, so hopefully they wouldn't be too much trouble.

Angela hesitated for a second and let out a small breath in a quick puff. "I do, actually. He's friends with Ben from college and he's just moved to the area. I'll give you his number after we hear back from the seller."

I nodded and settled back in my seat, daydreaming about how the house would look after I renovated and decorated it. I sent up a small prayer that my offer would be accepted, but somehow I knew it would.

Angela called me the very next day with good news. My offer had indeed been accepted and they wanted to close as soon as possible, hopefully before the month was out, since I was paying cash. They also were willing to give me the keys to the house early so I could get started making it livable. I was so excited, I did a little dance right in the middle of my dad's kitchen.

I wanted to tell my dad and Sue over dinner that evening. I went to the market and picked up everything I needed for a celebration meal and hurried home to cook. I decided on broiled salmon with mango salsa over angel hair pasta and a salad of mixed greens, strawberries, blueberries walnuts, and poppy seed dressing. Since it was a celebration, I bought plenty of wine for me and Sue and beer for my dad.

When Sue got home, I was dancing around to the radio and just starting the water for the pasta. She looked at me and broke into a huge grin. "You got the house, didn't you?" I nodded and squealed like a little girl. She pulled me into a huge hug and we both danced around the kitchen, laughing and being silly. My dad's loud chuckle startled us and we both gave him our most innocent faces.

"What's going on? Did you already find out about the house?" he asked, still smiling.

"I did! And, I'm making you guys dinner to celebrate. Sue, there's wine. I got you a bottle of Chardonnay, and it's in the fridge. Dad, there's beer in there, too," I said, pouring myself another glass of Pinot Noir. I shooed them into the living room with the promise of dinner in ten minutes. I slipped the salmon into the oven to broil and tossed the salad. I drained the pasta, pulled the mango salsa out of the fridge. I grabbed the salmon and called everyone to the table.

We enjoyed our meal together, talking about my plans for the house and I teased them about being happy to have me out of the house. I noticed the look they shared and the way my dad's ears turned red on top, though I pretended not to. It would be good for all of us when I moved out.

After supper, my dad went to watch some true-crime show, while Sue helped me clean. She and I made short work of the dishes and then we sat at the small table with our wine. She grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and helped me make a list of things I wanted to talk about with the handyman. I called Angela while she was writing and got the number of the guy she and Ben knew. I decided to go ahead and call him, since it was still pretty early.

A deep voice, full of whiskey and a touch of Southern twang, answered the phone.

"Hi, may I speak to Jasper Whitlock, please?"

"This is he. Who's callin'?," came the reply and I smiled a bit at the lazy vowels and the voice that made me imagine dirty sex, Southern Comfort, and Lynyrd Skynyrd. I think I actually blushed.

"This is Bella Swan. Angela Cheney gave me your number. I just bought a house that needs a lot of cosmetic work and she said you could help?"

"Um, sure. When are you wanting to get started?" he asked.

"As soon as possible. I'm going to pick up the key tomorrow, so truly any time is great with me," I answered in a rush, so excited to have someone who was able to help me.

"How about Friday morning?" he suggested. I opened my mouth to agree when I heard a great crash from his line, followed by loud crying. My eyes grew wide as he muttered an oath under his breath. "Excuse me a minute," he said in a rush and I could hear him speaking to someone. It was soothing; almost like he was singing. Things got quiet and I heard him pick up the phone.

"I'm so sorry about that. I was saying, how about Friday? Around nine?"

"Yeah, that sounds great." I gave him directions to the house and my phone number in case anything came up. I heard another loud bang in the background. "Is everything okay?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah, thanks. I'll see you Friday." Before I could reply, the call disconnected.

I shrugged it off, assuming he had kids.

"Alright Bella. I have the list of rooms you want to paint, here," Sue said, handing me a piece of paper. "The list of things to be mended, here," another piece of paper slid across the table. "Here's a list of furniture you have and the rooms the existing pieces will go into," I laughed, taking another sheet. "And, here's a list of rooms you'll need to figure out furniture for: should we make a list room by room of furniture you'll need to pick out?" she asked, her eyes growing wide with excitement.

I doubled over laughing, while Sue furrowed her brow. "What? I'm trying to be helpful," she said indignantly, tearing another sheet of paper from the notebook to start her list. I kissed her on the cheek and told her I loved her and walked out onto the porch. I enjoyed the slight breeze as I sat on the swing, my legs tucked beneath me. After a while Charlie joined me.

We sat quietly, just enjoying the fresh air and the quiet together. This was what I loved most about my dad. It had been just the two of us since I was born and it was wonderful that we could just enjoy the other's company without filling the silence. I leaned my head against my daddy's shoulder and breathed in his scent: Old Spice, peppermint, and cigarette smoke. It was such a comfort, I found myself drifting off.

The slam of the screen door woke me up and I grinned bashfully at my dad, wiping the drool off his shirt with the palm of my hand. "Sorry, Dad," I grimaced. He just smiled and pulled me closer, kissing the top of my head.

"No problem, Kiddo," he said quietly.

"I didn't mean to wake you up, Bella!" Sue said, apologetically. "I finished the room-by-room furniture list and I was going to start one for the outside, but I don't know what all you want to do.

I smiled gently. "Don't worry about that one. I'll take care of it. Thanks so much for all your help," I said, sincerely. She smiled back at me and assured me that she enjoyed herself.

I stood and stretched and excused myself for bed. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I crawled into my purple bed, between my low thread count sheets. I sighed, completely content as I drifted to sleep.

000

The week flew by. I picked up the key the following day, and took my dad and Sue to the house to show them around. They both loved it, and Sue was happy as a clam taking notes and making lists while my dad shook his head and smiled indulgently at his love.

I spent the rest of the week cleaning. The house smelled so strongly of cleaners, it stung my nose. My dad bought me a swing, and he'd already installed it on the front porch, and I sat there Thursday evening, just enjoying my surroundings. It was so quiet and so dark, but I wasn't afraid. It was peaceful instead of eerie and I loved that I could see the stars.

Friday morning, I was up with the sun. I ate breakfast quickly and headed over to the house. I decided to trim some of the wild bushes while I waited for the handyman. Two hours, several gallons of sweat, and a couple of actual tears later, I heard the sound of a truck coming down the driveway. I put the hedge clippers in the shed, thankful for the interruption. I was heading straight for a tantrum and I took a deep breath to calm my frustration. Apparently, yard work is hard. It was something I had never done, and I had to admit I hated everything about it.

I walked out of the shed and as I turned to shut the door behind me, I backed right into a body. I jumped and shrieked, cursing like a sailor. I ducked my head in my embarrassment, shaking my head and muttering as I turned to meet Mr. Whitlock. He gripped my shoulders lightly to help me balance and I clenched my eyes shut for a brief second, afraid he was going to think I was an utter moron. When I opened them, I found myself staring at an angel.

He was wearing a pair of worn jeans that hung low around his hips. His plain white t-shirt fit him just so, snug at the shoulders and hitting his hips at the perfect length. His arms were tan and strong, his neck was long and his jaw was sharp. His eyes were dark, but blue, and his hair was a disheveled, curly halo. I tore my gaze from him and stared at our feet, which were much too close together. I took one step back and cleared my throat. "Sorry about that," I mumbled. I looked back at his face and noticed the line between his eyebrows and the firm set of his mouth. "I'm Bella Swan." I stuck my hand out in greeting.

He hesitated, eying my hand for a moment before grasping it firmly in his own. "Jasper Whitlock," he nodded. I barely heard him, as I was focused on the warmth of his hand, and the scratchiness of his calloused palm against my own. I turned back around and locked the shed, bracing myself before facing him again. This wasn't going to work if I couldn't stop ogling him. I gave myself a pep talk and turned my gaze back to him, meeting his eyes.

"Let's get started," I said, keeping my voice brisk and detached. I walked towards the house quickly, not checking to see if he would follow.


	2. Chapter 2

Jasper and I spent several hours going over Sue's insanely detailed lists. I walked him through the house and property, showing him what needed repair. As the day passed, I found that I really enjoyed his company. I also figured out that if I just glanced at him quickly and sort of squinted my eyes, he was less distracting and I could maintain a conversation with him.

Around noon, I grabbed us each a bottle of water and a sandwich, lovingly packed by my very sweet dad that morning. We sat on the front porch, eating silently and just enjoying the solitude that came with my new home. I was tucked into the swing again, legs dangling, swaying slightly in the breeze and Jasper sat against the porch rail, his legs stretched out in front of him.

He was the picture of relaxation from the neck down. His face, however, was drawn and he looked exhausted. His mouth was held in a tense, thin line and the circles under his eyes were dark and gray. He leaned his head back against the railing and closed his eyes, not moving until I rose from my perch. I grabbed our sandwich bags and tossed them in the trash and when I walked back outside, he was standing and rubbing his eyes.

"So," I began, "do you think you can help me out, here?"

"Yeah, absolutely. Do you want to get started today or Monday?" he asked.

I took in his hunched shoulders and weary expression. "Monday, I think. I need to go to the hardware store over the weekend and get the things we discussed before we get started."

His expression was mildly relieved and the right side of his mouth quirked up in a tiny grin. "Alright. Wanna start bright and early, then? Around seven?"

"Sounds good to me," I answered with a smile of my own. "I'll see you Monday, Jasper."

Over the weekend, I spent way too much time and money at the hardware store. I had a great time, slowly expoloring each aisle and pouring over tile and paint chips. I loaded everything into the shed and decided to get started on a few things I could do by myself. I painted the master bedroom and what would be my office. I was extremely happy with the huge change that simple task accomplished. The master bedroom was gray with bright white trim. The effect was soothingly crisp and clean. My office was a burnt orange color that reminded me of vacations in Phoenix with my aunt and uncle.

On Sunday, my dad came to the house with me and we took our time scraping the old, curled paint chips from the railing. We chatted as we worked and the day went quickly. We ate peanut butter and apple slices and ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch. When we were finished eating, we sat on the swing and I rested against my dad while he curled a piece of my hair between his fingers.

"I'm so happy you're gonna be around again, Bells. I've really missed you. I feel like I've got my little girl back."

It was nearly too much. I felt the sting of tears beneath the surface as I looked up at him. "I'm glad to be home, Dad," I sighed.

We spent the rest of the afternoon sanding and painting and by the time we packed up for the evening, the porch was lovely. We picked up a pizza on the way home and Sue made margaritas. It was a nice night filled with the warmth of being home.

Around ten-thirty, I excused myself, and I lay awake a long time. I got out of bed and dug out my old CDs, loving the treasures from the nineties that I had long forgotten. I put Mazzy Star in my old, beat up CD player, and lay on my back, sinking into the mattress as I finally relaxed.

000

The next morning, I got to the house around six-thirty and was surprised to find Jasper there, already. I found him in the shed, going through the supplies I bought, and gave him a smile. "Good morning!" I said, "I wasn't expecting you to be here, already."

He shrugged, "I was up so I decided to get an early start. I think I'm going to start in the kitchen today, if that's cool."

"Sure. I'm just going to paint, so I'll be out of your way."

We each gathered what we needed and headed into the house. I grabbed my MP3 player from my car and set it to shuffle. I was about half-way finished with my second coat, when I glanced up to find Jasper in the doorway, watching me. His eyes were sparkling and his mouth was set in a smirk. I ripped the ear-bud from my right ear and cocked an eyebrow at him in question.

"Sorry to interrupt you. I tried calling your name and you didn't hear me. I'm gonna go grab a burger from the diner. You want anything?" he asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah, please!" I said, grabbing my wallet and handing him some cash. "I want a cheeseburger plate, please. I'll get yours, too."

"You don't have to do that, Bella," he said, and I thrilled when his lips wrapped around my name. "I have to go check on some things at home, so it'll probably be an hour before I get back, okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," I said, putting my ear-bud back in and cranking up the music. I was just cleaning up when Jasper walked back in the door.

"Your food, Ma'am," he said with a smirk, handing me the bag with a flourish. "It looks nice in here."

"Thanks," I smiled. I had chosen a soft gold for the walls in the living room and it made the hardwood floors look extremely rich. "I'm pretty happy with it."

I sat right on the floor to eat my cheeseburger and was surprised when Jasper sat next to me, leaning back on his hands, watching me.

"So, why'd you move to Forks, Bella? If you don't mind me asking, I mean."

"Well, I'm actually from here and when I got divorced, I decided to move home. There never was much other than my husband for me in Chicago, so it seemed like an obvious choice," I answered, taking a huge bite of my burger.

He nodded, "Yeah, my wife is from here, too."

My eyes flashed to his unadorned left hand. "Yeah?" I asked calmly, even as my heart sunk. "What's her name?"

"Alice Brandon," he said, looking down. Memories of a girl a couple of years younger than me ran through my mind; a cute little thing, probably not even five feet tall, with a short, black pixie cut, combat books, and a blindingly beautiful smile.

"Yeah, I remember her face. I didn't really know her in school, though. She's a couple of years younger than me, I think. How's she doing?"

Jasper's eyes flashed with a darkness that surprised me. His phone rang just as he opened his mouth to answer me. He glanced down at the caller ID and gave me an apologetic look. "I have to take this," he said with a grimace.

I nodded, taking a big bite of my burger. He walked into the kitchen, and I tried not to pay attention, but I couldn't help but overhear parts of his conversation.

"What do you mean, she won't calm down? I was just there. She was fine!" he paused, listening. "No, don't give her anything. I don't want you giving her medication every time this happens." I stopped chewing altogether. "Because I fucking said so and I'm the one who has to deal with this every goddamn day! I'll be there in a minute."

I realized I gaping at the kitchen door and tried to look nonchalant as I heard his heavy footsteps on the tile. I took a huge bite of my burger and hoped I looked natural and not like I had been eavesdropping. I looked up as he walked into the room and lifted my eyebrows in question. "Everything okay?"

"Uh, no. Not really. Listen, I hate to do this, but I have to go home. I promise this won't happen again," he said, looking so worried and tense, my heart clenched for him.

I stood quickly and walked over to him, placing my hand on his arm. "Please don't worry about it. I'm just going to paint for the day. Will you be back tomorrow?"

"Yeah, definitely. Like I said, this won't happen again. Thanks, Bella."

I nodded and walked him to the door. "See you in the morning."

I cleared my food and got back to work. I painted the dining room and called it a day. I cleaned up my mess and sat in my swing again, basking in the serenity I found in my new home. I felt really drowsy, so I decided to drag myself home before I passed out on my porch for the night.

When I got home, Charlie was sitting on the porch steps, smoking a cigarette. I sat next to him and smiled at his handsome face. "I'm so fucking tired!" I yawned, laughing a little.

He grinned at me and shook his head. "Don't overdo it, Kiddo. You've got all the time in the world. I'm not kicking you out, you know."

"I know. Hey! Did you know my handyman is married to Alice Brandon?" I said, remembering.

"Alice Brandon. Is that Mary and Bill's daughter?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. She's a couple of years younger than me."

"That's a sad story, isn't it?" he asked flicking the cherry off his cigarette with his fingernail and sticking the butt in the coffee can he kept next to the steps.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"She got into a really bad car accident maybe six or seven years ago. A fucking drunk driver hit her head-on. She was in a coma for a really long time. I actually don't know what ended up happening with her, but I guess she's doing okay if they've moved back here, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess," I replied absently, feeling a tightening in my chest. "How come I didn't hear about this?"

"Well, you had already moved away at this point and we really didn't talk to each other that much. I guess it just slipped my mind to tell you," he said with a shrug. "Why don't you go ahead and get cleaned up. You want something to eat? We grilled chicken."

"Yeah, Dad. That sounds great actually," I said, as I headed up the stairs and proceeded to take the best shower of my life. I slipped on a soft t-shirt and some old cotton shorts and flopped face down on the bed. I decided after lying there a few minutes, that I wasn't as hungry as I was sleepy and decided to just go to bed for the night. I burrowed my face into the pillow and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The week flew by, and though I didn't really have time to sit down and talk with Jasper, he seemed to be a genuinely nice guy. He was funny without being exhausting, kind without being sappy. He didn't mention his issues at home and I couldn't make myself ask him. He left every day at lunch for about an hour and he finished his day at exactly five o'clock. I didn't complain. He was a great worker, very organized, and very thorough.

I also enjoyed my evenings alone. I was falling in love with my house more and more. As things began to shape up, I could envision quiet nights reading on the window seat and lazy days spent on my porch swing. I wanted to have dinner parties and have my dad and Sue over for Christmas. For the first time in a long time, I was excited about the future.

Friday, after Jasper left, I cleaned up my mess and just sat right on the floor of the screened in back porch. I turned on the ceiling fan and just enjoyed the breeze and the view of my overgrown back yard. With a sigh, I talked myself into stopping by the store on the way to my dad's to pick up a gardening book. I hoped it would inspire me. I stood and dusted off the back of my jeans and as I walked into the kitchen, I heard a phone ringing.

It wasn't my ring tone and I followed the sound to the counter next to the sink. Jasper left his phone. "Shit," I muttered, unsure what to do. He didn't have a land line and I wasn't sure if he could go the weekend without his phone. Considering that, I decided to drop it off at his house on my way to the store. He lived in a neighborhood just a few miles down and it was on my way home, anyway.

I locked up and jumped into my dad's old beat up truck. This was the old red Chevy I had learned to drive on, and I was borrowing it to haul supplies. It made me feel like a teenager again, which wasn't an altogether bad feeling.

As I pulled out of the driveway, the bottom fell out and the rain began to pour. I made my way to Jasper's house slowly as the windshield wipers on my dad's truck weren't all that functional. I turned into his neighborhood and onto his street, and began looking for his truck. The houses in this area were adorable; small, craftsman style homes with large yards. I smiled when I spotted his truck. His house was extremely well-kept and his yard was immaculate.

I pulled into his driveway and braced myself to jump from the truck into the heavy rain. I ran as quickly as I could to the front porch, wringing my hair out as I rang the doorbell. I waited an eternity for someone to answer the door, and I was just about to leave when it flew open. Jasper's eyes widened as he took in my appearance. He looked me over quickly from the top of my head right down to my feet and ushered me inside.

"Jesus Christ, Bella, you're soaked." he muttered, stating the obvious.

I quirked an eyebrow at his attitude and dug his phone out of my pocket. "I was just bringing you your phone. You left it at the house," I explained, passing it to him and turning to leave.

His hand wrapped around mine and I gasped out loud. I felt something I had never before felt; electricity, heat, sparks- I didn't know what to call it. He dropped my hand like it was on fire and we each took a step back.

He shook his head rapidly took a deep breath. "Thanks for bringing it to me. Why don't you just hang out here till this storm lets up a bit? I'll get you a towel," he said, not giving me time to reply before he walked out of sight. I stood awkwardly in the foyer, feeling terrible for dripping water all over his pretty floor. He returned a few seconds later with a fluffy gray towel that was so soft, I wanted to stick it in my purse and take it home with me. "Want something to drink?"

"Um, no that's okay. I'm gonna get going in a second here. I want to stop by the store and see if they have any gardening books, so-"

"I have a ton of 'em in my office!" he interrupted. "You can have the damn things! I don't use them. I'll show you," he nodded for me to follow him down the short hallway. He lead the way into an extremely organized office, filled with bookshelves and a comfortable-looking couch. He motioned for me to have a seat while he dug through some catalogs and magazines on the bottom shelf. He sat on his heels plucking several of them out, stacking them in his arms.

He stood, flipping through the stack as he walked to me. "Here are several that might help you with layouts, and I have a reference book in here, too, that will help you figure out what will grow well in this area. He sat on the couch next to me, opening one of the thicker books. "I remember seeing one in here a while back that I think would be perfect for the fenced in area," he mumbled, glancing quickly through the pages.

He slid a little closer to me, his leg barely touching mine. The heat from his body created a kind of static crackling in the air surrounding us. My breath hitched as he leaned his upper body towards mine, so our shoulders were touching. "See this one?" he asked in a low voice. I was overwhelmed by his proximity and had a hard enough time breathing, let alone concentrating on what he was showing me.

Afraid I was making an idiot of myself, I swallowed roughly and took the book from his hand, staring at the pages, willing them to make sense. I realized Jasper was pointing to different areas on the page and explaining how easily we could transform my overgrown weed garden into something beautiful. I forced myself to focus on the picture and lost my breath for a different reason.

It was perfect. An English garden with pretty stones and benches. It had tiered levels that looked complicated, but Jasper assured me it wouldn't be a problem. I was charmed and intrigued, filled with visions of pinks and purples, blues and yellows. "Do you think I could keep it up?" I asked, afraid it was hopeless. "You know, I hate gardening."

"I can help you, if you want. I wouldn't charge much just for the maintenance. I could come over maybe twice a week."

"Really? How do you know so much about gardening, anyway?" I asked, still staring at the glossy pages.

"My mom is a landscape architect. I worked for her every summer as a kid and I guess I learned more than I really meant to," he explained with a grin.

"Angela said you went to college with Ben?" I asked him. He answered with a nod. "What was your major?"

"I was a history major," he answered. I felt my face morph into one of confusion and he continued, "I got my bachelors degree and about two months later Alice was in an accident. I wasn't able to get back to school and I realized there wasn't much I could do with my degree other than teach. I just wasn't interested in that, so I started doing carpentry work for people. It pays the bills and I actually really like it."

"Do you plan to go back to school?" I asked, hoping he wasn't offended by my nosy questions.

"I don't really see how I can do that right now. Alice's care was extremely expensive and I need to work as much as I can." he answered, not unkindly.

I had so many questions, but I bit my tongue. Just as Jasper opened his mouth to speak, I heard someone crying. "I'll be right back," he said quickly.

I sat in the office for a while, looking at the pictures in the books he gave me. I realized I had been sitting alone for about half an hour and I needed to head to my dad's for supper. I gathered up the books and walked into the hallway. I followed the sound of Jasper humming to a door at the end of the hall and peeked in. I didn't want to interrupt, but I wanted to let him know I was leaving.

I met Jasper's eyes immediately and tried to keep my face neutral as I realized he wasn't consoling a child, but a woman. Alice. She was extremely thin, tiny really, and extremely pale. The black hair on top of her head was flat and dull. She was crying, wailing and sobbing desperately, and Jasper had gathered her into his lap. He was rocking her and humming "And I Love Her" by The Beatles.

I wanted to cry.

He smiled a tiny, encouraging smile, beckoning me forward with a nod of his head. "Alice," he said softly. "Bella Swan is here. I've been helping her fix up her new house and I was showing her some of the old gardening books in the office."

I moved to the side of the bed so I could address her properly. I looked at her pretty face, feeling so, so sad as I met her vacant stare. "Hi, Alice. I am so happy to meet you again. I remember you from school. You were always so sweet and so lovely to me." She wasn't crying anymore and she was beautiful in her stillness. Her eyes rolled around the room a bit, unseeing. Her mouth was ajar and Jasper wiped a bit of drool from her chin with his shirt.

I had to look away. My eyes stayed glued on my shoes as I heard him shuffling Alice back onto the bed. He cleared his throat and my eyes flew to meet his. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be nosy. I just wanted to let you know I was leaving."

He smiled gently. "It's okay, Bella. I wasn't hiding her. Did you want to take those books with you? I really don't need them anymore."

I nodded. "Yeah, I really appreciate it. You saved me a trip to the store."

He walked me to the door. "Have a good weekend, Bella. And, be safe driving home."

I drove all the way to my dad's house on autopilot. My mind was on Alice Whitlock and my heart was heavy. I felt so sad for her and I felt so sad for Jasper. I couldn't even imagine being in his situation. He had been caring for her for such a long time. I wondered if he was able to have any sort of social life at all.

My dad was smoking again when I got home. I snuggled up next to him and he wrapped his warm, heavy arm around my shoulders. "How was your day, Kiddo?" he asked, kissing the top of my head.

I told him about stopping by Jasper's house and as I told him about Alice, I burst into tears. My dad shifted uncomfortably as I cried into his shirt, but he hugged me tighter and gave me time to let it out. "It was just so sad, Dad," I sniffed. "I hate that such a beautiful, sweet girl has to live like that."

"I know, Bella," my dad sighed. "I hate it for her."

I wiped my face and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for crying all over you. I don't know why I'm letting this effect me so much. It's just such a sad situation."

"You can cry on me anytime. You know that," my dad said with a sad smile. "Why don't you go get cleaned up? Supper's waiting on the table."

I went to bed early, exhausted from a week of hard work. I tossed and turned for a long time, unable to still my mind. I finally fell into a fitful sleep, filled with dreams of a young, beautiful Alice.


	4. Chapter 4

**This story is going to be primarily Bella's POV. I've written several shorter chapters to give you an idea what's going on with Jasper, though, and this is one of them. :) I'll post the next real chapter sometime this week.**

JPOV

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, man. Angie said she sold a house to someone who was asking about a handyman. It's cool if she gives 'em your number, right?"

I looked across the table at Ben, who was trying to shovel an entire slice of pizza into his mouth. "Yeah, it's fine. I need all the work I can get."

"Cool. Her name is Bella something. Anyway, she's Charlie Swan's daughter."

"Great," I groaned, "I hate when I get the single ladies. They always think they know more than I do and they always think it's okay to boss me around while they sit on their asses." I drank the last bit of my beer and threw away the bottle. "You finished with all this?" I asked, gesturing to the table.

"Yeah, I'm stuffed," Ben answered, rubbing his stomach with a moan and a belch. "I don't think you'll have to worry about Bella. She and Angie have gotten to be pretty good buddies. She sounds really cool, actually."

I nodded absently, throwing away our trash. "You want to hang out a while? Alice has had a quiet day. We could probably watch a movie."

"Nah, man. I need to be getting home. I have to be at work at six tomorrow." I grabbed the monitor and walked him to the door.

I sat on my front porch after he drove away and sighed. I scrubbed my face roughly with my hands, feeling guilty about not wanting to go back inside. Truth be told, sometimes I wished I could just leave this place and my entire life behind. Everything.

But, then the guilt would eat away at my stomach and I pushed that desire to the back of my mind, feeling like a monster. It was so hard sometimes, though. I hadn't been intimate with my wife for seven years. I hadn't had a fucking conversation with her in seven years.

I heard the monitor crackle as Alice started crying. I clenched my eyes and fists as tightly as I could and released them slowly. I took a deep breath and headed back inside to soothe my wife.

XOXOXOX

"Hello?"

"Hi, may I speak to Jasper Whitlock, please?" came the voice of an angel.

"This is he. Who's callin'?," I answered, praying with everything in me that this was the girl Ben told me about. She sounded like someone I'd want to see in person. I tried unsuccessfully to tamp down the guilt that came with that thought.

"This is Bella Swan," she began and I did a mental fist pump, feeling like a douche. I realized she was still talking and caught the tail-end of her sentence, -"said you could help?"

"Um, sure. When are you wanting to get started?" I asked, hoping beyond hope that my reply made sense.

As she told me she wanted to get started as soon as possible, I heard Alice in the bedroom, becoming more agitated. I headed that way.

"How about Friday morning?" I asked while I was walking. As I walked into the bedroom, she flailed and cried out, knocking the lamp off the side table with her arm. I cursed under my breath as I realized I forgot to lift the rails on her bed. I excused myself quickly from the conversation and rushed to the bed. I righted the lamp and rubbed Alice's hair, singing quietly to her. She calmed down quickly and I returned to my call.

Bella and I firmed up our plans and she gave me her number and directions to her place. As we were finishing up our call, Alice's body stiffened completely and began to convulse. Another fucking seizure. I got off the phone quickly and hummed soothingly to my wife, knowing this night would be a rough one.

XOXOXOX

Friday morning, I was dressed and on my third cup of coffee when my sister showed up. "How is she today?" she asked, kissing me on the cheek before grabbing her own cup of coffee.

"It was a long night. I finally fell asleep around four o'clock," I answered. "She's been sleeping off and on this morning, but no crying. I've got some music going, so you're good for a while."

"Sounds good," Rose mumbled into her mug. "I figured I'd just do some work while I'm here," she said, nodding to her laptop bag. "If she gets fussy, I can just read or sing to her, right? I don't have to give her any medicine, do I?"

"I'd really rather you didn't give her anything unless she just can't calm down. Her mom gives her something every time she whimpers. I fucking hate it."

"No worries. I hate giving her shots, so you know I'm gonna try to avoid it," she said, walking to Alice's room. "I'll see you later this afternoon."

"Thanks again for staying with her," I called to my sister's back. She didn't bother with a reply. I could hear her talking sweetly to Alice as I grabbed my keys and wallet and headed out the door.

I pulled up to the house at around ten till nine. I saw an old beat up truck in the driveway, but nobody was in sight. I glanced at the house and smiled. This would be a nice place after some work. I climbed out of my truck and noticed a shed with the door cracked. I walked over to it, looking around the yard, making a mental list of things that needed to be done. Just as I reached the door, a petite lady with the best ass I'd ever seen came backing out the door. She backed right into me and nearly fell over. I grabbed her shoulders and she stiffened, turning slowly.

Then, she looked up.

I was lost. She was something I'd never seen before; pink cheeks, full lips, big brown eyes, and a then there was her body. It was curvy and petite and I had to tear my eyes from her breasts. She cleared her throat and held out her hand, introducing herself. "Sorry about that. I'm Bella Swan," she said with a smile.

I gave myself a little pep talk, calling myself all sorts of horrible fucking names. I was such an asshole thinking of this girl like that. I thought of Alice at home lying in bed and felt the guilt settle into my stomach.

"Jasper Whitlock," I said, after taking her thin hand in mine. My entire body felt an electric jolt and it took everything in me not to snatch my hand away.

"Let's get started," she said, walking away from me. I watched her for a second before following.

I was in so much trouble.


	5. Chapter 5

**Happy Father's Day! I'm so thankful my daughter has such a special daddy.  
****Thanks to my special lady friend, abbymickey24, for rec'ing this story. Love ya, Babe! :)**

On Saturday morning, I didn't wake up until my phone rang at nine-thirty. I answered quickly, trying not to sound like I was sleeping. It was Angela inviting me to her house for dinner that night. Apparently, she and her friends tried to get together most weekends to grill and have a game or movie night. I accepted happily, excited about meeting some new people, and promised to bring a pasta salad.

I spent my day exploring the large nursery in town. I had gone through the books Jasper gave me, drawn time and again to the garden he pointed out. I really wanted my yard to be similar to that photo. After spending a few hours wandering around and asking questions, I decided that I'd really like Jasper to come with me to help me pick the flowers. I made a mental note to ask him about it on Monday.

When I got home, I threw together my famous Greek pasta salad and put it in the refrigerator while I got ready. I took my time in the shower, shaving, buffing, and scrubbing everything. I polished my toenails, as my poor feet had been completely neglected since moving to Forks. My one true indulgence had always been a monthly pedicure and I missed getting them.

I put on minimal makeup and decided to go natural for the evening, allowing my hair to air dry. I ran a bit of shine serum through the wild locks and smoothed down the waves a bit. Angela assured me this was a super casual night, so I put on my most comfortable, but flattering, jeans and a cute blue ruffled tank top. Liking what I saw in the mirror, I slid on some flip flops and was ready to go.

When I pulled into Angela's driveway a little after seven o'clock, I glanced warily at the cars that were parked out front. My stomach did a funny little flutter as I rang the doorbell, and I held my bowl of pasta salad close to my chest as a shield. Ben answered the door and I took a deep breath.

I pasted what I hoped was a natural looking smile on my face and shoved the bowl towards Ben's chest. "Hey," I said, feeling more awkward than I had since high school.

"Come on in, Bella," Ben said, gently taking the bowl from me. "Just relax," he whispered into my ear. "Want a beer?"

I nodded with an embarrassed grin. "I'm sorry," I explained, "I just haven't gotten out much since the divorce and I'm always a little nervous meeting new people."

"Well, don't worry," he said with a smirk. "You already know me and Angela and everyone else is really cool. They won't bite."

I followed Ben into the kitchen, glancing at people as we passed. I thought I recognized a few faces, but not enough to recall their names. I hadn't returned to Forks since I got married. It had been fourteen years since I'd seen anyone I went to high school with, so I shouldn't be surprised that I didn't really know anyone anymore.

"Bella!" Angela exclaimed, wrapping me in a hug. "I'm so glad you're here. Come meet everybody!"

We walked into the living room where a beautiful blonde woman was wrapped around an extremely attractive, extremely huge man on the couch. "Rose, Emmett, this is Bella Swan. Bella, this is Rose McCarty and her husband, Emmett."

"Hi," I said with a bashful smile.

"Hi, Bella," Rose said, shaking my hand. "You know my brother, Jasper."

"Oh, Jasper's your brother? He's really great. He's been helping me so much!" she opened her mouth to answer me, when she was interrupted by her husband.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella," Emmett said, surprising me with a hug. I blushed from the roots of my hair to the soles of my feet.

"Nice to meet you, too," I mumbled as he released me.

I met another couple, Sam and Emily. I remembered Emily vaguely from high school. They were both extremely friendly, and I was excited to be meeting so many people who were roughly my age.

"Come on," said Angela, "There are a few others out back."

I followed her out to a nice deck, where Ben was manning the grill. There was a pretty girl and two more men outside. She introduced me to Jessica and Mike Newton. I remembered them as being very popular. He was a football player while she was a cheerleader. Jessica was a homemaker and Mike owned a sporting goods store. They both seemed nice, but they were both extremely perky.

Angela's smile grew much wider as she lead me toward her husband and the man he was talking to. "Bella Swan, meet Peter Whitlock. He's Rose and Jasper's cousin, and he just moved to Forks last month," she said with a whole lot of energy. I raised my eyebrow at her and held out my hand for Peter to shake.

XOXOXOX

This felt very much like a set up. After Angela introduced me to Peter, everyone sort of disappeared. Ben asked Peter to watch the burgers while he checked on something inside, Mike and Jessica both claimed to need the restroom, and Angela went to get another drink. Peter and I sat on the back steps, and he was very close to me. I could feel his body heat and to be honest, it was nice.

Peter was a really nice looking guy. He looked a lot like Jasper, but with shorter hair, brown eyes, and a longer face. His jaw was sharp, and a little scruffy. He was a good foot taller than me, and thin but muscular. He had a dimple in his chin and his eyes sparkled like he had a secret he was dying to tell. I was intrigued. I tried not to compare him to his cousin, reminding myself that Jasper wasn't available.

I focused on the man sitting beside me and when he stood to take the meat off the grill, I couldn't stop my eyes from roaming over his back side. His build was lanky, but solid. His shoulders were broad and his hips were slim. He turned to ask me a question and caught my gaze on his derrière. He gave me a cocky smirk, and I blushed and shrugged. I couldn't make myself feel apologetic.

XOXOXOX

After we all ate, Rose excused herself, saying she was going to relieve her brother for a while. I sat next to Peter on the loveseat. Our bodies touched lightly and made my stomach jump in excitement from time to time. He leaned in close to me to talk, and his breath brushing my ear and my neck made my heart stutter and gallop.

He threw his arm over my shoulders and I snuggled into his side, smiling when his man smell hit my nose. He smelled of spicy, salty, _boy; _and it was good. I was just getting comfortable when I felt the cushion to my left dip with someone's weight.

I turned to see who decided to squeeze in beside me on the tiny couch, and was surprised to see Jasper. He greeted me with a smile and looked over my head at his cousin. His face transformed into a cold scowl and I had to pry my eyes from him. I turned back to Peter just in time to see him staring at Jasper, shaking his head with a deep frown.

I squirmed uncomfortably, deciding to go into the kitchen to get away from the two angry-looking men. Angela was putting leftovers away and she smiled when she noticed me. "So, you and Peter seemed cozy," she said with a teasing grin.

"He's really nice," I said with a shrug. Inside, I was squealing like a thirteen year old.

"He is," she agreed. "He hasn't been in Forks very long, but I really like him."

I nodded absentmindedly, realizing I didn't want to talk about Peter while he was in the next room, but definitely wanting to get more of his story. "Hey, Ang, you want to get together for lunch one day next week?"

"Oh, sure!" she answered happily. "Can you do Tuesday?"

I nodded in agreement and we finished cleaning the kitchen in a comfortable silence. We settled in for a movie, and again I ended up between Peter and Jasper. I was pressed between them, our arms and legs all pressed together. The warmth I felt from Peter, on my right, was overshadowed by what I felt from Jasper on my left. Jasper's side was crackling and wild. I felt a wetness between my legs and shifted around in my seat again.

About halfway through the movie, I stifled a yawn. And then another. I leaned in to Peter and quietly let him know I was leaving. He offered to walk me to my car and waited for me while I said my goodbyes. Angela wrapped me in a hug and gave me a cheeky grin, "Thanks so much for coming tonight, Bella! I'll see you Tuesday."

Jasper ignored my goodbye.

When we got outside, I leaned against my car as Peter stepped forward until we were just barely touching. "Would it be okay if I called you sometime, Bella?" he asked, holding out his phone. I nodded and quickly typed in my number for him. "It was really nice meeting you," he said and brushed his lips across mine gently. His lips were soft and warm and really very pleasant. I nearly moaned despite the fact that he kept it completely chaste. This was my first kiss as a divorced woman. I wanted more.

"It was nice to meet you, too," I breathed as he pulled back. He flashed me dazzling smile and walked away. I sat in my car for a few minutes, willing my heart to slow down.

Jasper walked out of the house a few minutes later and passed right by my car on the way to his truck. He didn't even glance at me and suddenly I wasn't giddy from Peter's kiss anymore. As I pulled out of the driveway, I considered this and realized more than I had before that I was seriously in trouble. I had a crush on Jasper. A real, true, tenth grade crush. I felt sick. I resolved to rid myself of my ridiculous attraction to this completely unavailable man however I could.

Peter seemed like the perfect distraction.


	6. Chapter 6

**It's short and it's filler.**

Monday morning, Jasper showed up with two giant styrofoam cups filled with steaming coffee. I smiled widely as he sat one of the cups on the kitchen counter, next to my things. He smiled back and said, "I'll call this a peace offering. Sorry I was a dick the other night. I just had some shit on my mind."

"Not a problem," I assured him, taking a tentative slurp of my coffee. "So," I said, very smoothly switching gears, "Peter seems nice." I looked up at him as I spoke, watching his face tighten and his jaw tick. He met my gaze and his face softened.

"He's a good guy," he said on a sigh. "He asked me about you yesterday."

"Yeah?" I asked with a grin. I raised my eyebrows, hoping he'd elaborate.

"He's planning to call you," he said quietly. Before I could reply, he cleared his throat and cocked his head towards the cabinets. "I'm just gonna go get started."

I put my ear buds in as I worked, humming along as I painted the bathroom. We worked steadily until Jasper left for lunch. When he got back, I asked him to go with me to my storage building. I wanted to bring some of my things over and start setting things up in the bedrooms, at least. We loaded up the furniture for the guest room and several boxes of books. I was excited to get some of my things in the house. I figured it would be nice to have the bed in case I wanted to stay some nights. It was hard to drag my ass back to my dad's after working on the house all day.

He helped me put together the bed and arrange the dresser and armoire. I stood back, satisfied with how everything looked. It was strange having my old bedroom furniture in the guestroom, but I wanted to start fresh. Having a new bedroom suit that I had never shared with Edward seemed like a good idea. I took a deep breath and brushed off the sadness that was threatening to penetrate my excitement.

When I looked up, Jasper was watching me. His eyebrows were lowered and his mouth was a flat line. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice a quiet rumble.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "It's just a little weird. Um, I'm just going to work on organizing the bookshelves, so if you want to go home early today, you can."

He looked at his watch with a frown. "Okay. Well, I guess I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yep. I'll be here," I said as I began pulling books from the first box.

That night, I slept in my new house. I lay on my back, reminiscing about the good times I had shared with Edward. Our first date, our first kiss, our first time; they all replayed behind my eyelids and for the first time, I mourned the loss of my first love. I cried for what felt like hours and it was good. I felt lighter than I had in years.

The next morning, I woke bright and early and got right to work. After making breakfast, I got started peeling ridiculous wallpaper in the den. Why people think covering their walls in hideous patterns is a good idea, I'll never know. I was steaming and cursing the manufacturers of wallpaper adhesive when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned quickly, embarrassed by my surprised yelp. Jasper smiled at me, amused, holding out another cup of coffee. I yanked the ear buds from my ears and thanked him.

"I don't have anyone to watch Alice after three o'clock today. I hope that's not a problem for you," he said with a frown.

"Of course not, Jasper! Jesus, it's not like I'm your actual boss or anything. I'm just paying you to help me out around here. That's all. I appreciate anything you can do!" I answered sincerely.

He nodded once and turned to leave the room. "Hey, Jasper!" I called to get his attention. "I made breakfast if you want some. There's bacon and french toast."

His answering smile was blinding and wonderful. "Thanks," he breathed. "I actually didn't get to eat this morning." I watched his back as he walked away. Actually, maybe sauntered was a better word. His movements were fluid and confident and it was hard not to watch the way his back twisted and swayed as he moved.

I groaned out loud and shut my eyes, reminding myself over and over that he was not available. My brain seemed to have a hard time accepting that fact. I shook my head and got back to work.

XOXOXOXOX

"Bella, he's so fucking nice and really, really cute. What's the problem?" Angela asked. "Do you think it's too early for a margarita?" she mumbled, not waiting on my answer before waving the server over and ordering one. Order placed, she looked back at me expectantly. "So?"

I laughed quietly at my friend. "I don't know that there is a problem. I just wanted to ask your advice. I haven't been out with anyone in a really long time, you know."

"You want my advice?" I nodded in response. "Fuck him." I must have looked astonished, because she hurriedly continued speaking, "Seriously, Bella. Fuck his brains out and live a little. When's the last time you had sex?"

"Over a year ago," I whispered. Angela's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open.

"Over a... What the fuck?" she muttered. She took a huge gulp of her margarita and sighed. "Fuck the boy, Bella. If nothing else, I bet he's a good lay."

I loved Angela a little more by the time we finished our lunch. She was silly and sassy and had the mouth of a sailor. I could tell already that ours would be a great friendship.

XOXOXOXOX

When I pulled into the driveway at my house, I was surprised by the several vehicles that were parked there. I was surrounded by noise when I walked inside. There were boy voices laughing and talking loudly and the sound of something heavy dropping. I walked into the kitchen and had to center myself a bit. There were three sweaty, shirtless men holding a cabinet against my wall, while Jasper drilled it in place.

"Hi guys," I said quietly, hoping my voice didn't betray my lust. Jasper, Ben, Emmett, and Peter all turned their smiles to me.

"Hey, Bella!" came a chorus of deep voices. "We're trying to get these installed before I have to leave for the day," Jasper explained, turning back to his drilling.

I stood in the doorway, unable to look away. I wasn't sure how it was possible that I was surrounded with so many handsome men. Emmett was muscular and a little stocky, and his back rippled in a way that made me drool a bit. Jasper and Peter were both lanky and strong. They were wiry muscles and smooth skin and wide shoulders and slim hips. Ben was shorter and smaller, but his forearms were truly fantastic and I had to pry my eyes off his lovely, long-fingered hands. I took a deep breath and willed my hormones under control.

"I'm just gonna..." I trailed off and walked awkwardly out of the room. I felt my cheeks burn and was a little surprised by the burn in my low belly. Angela was right. I needed to get laid. I stared absently out the living room window and tried to keep my mind off the sweaty, half naked boys in the next room.

"Bella?" Jasper's voice startled me and I turned quickly toward him. "I'm gonna head out, alright? I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah, that's fine, Jasper. Have a good night, okay?" The rest of the guys filed out of the kitchen and Ben and Emmett threw me smiles as they walked out the door.

Peter hung back and watched everyone else leave. "I was going to call you," he said with a smirk.

"Yeah?"

"Yep. But I figured I'd just talk to you now," he said, standing closer to me. "I was hoping you'd go out with me this weekend."

"Um, sure," I replied, feeling flustered.

"Friday night?"

"That works for me. I usually finish up here around five, so maybe around seven?"

"Perfect," he said with a grin. "I'll pick you up here?"

I nodded as he wrapped his arm around my waist. As his face moved closer to mine, my breathing hitched and then stopped altogether. He pressed his lips chastely to my cheek and backed away. I felt equal parts relieved and disappointed.

"See you then," he said quietly, and walked out the front door.

I watched as his truck disappeared down the driveway, then I indulged myself in the girliest, silliest celebration dance in the entire world. I wiggled and shimmied and squealed and laughed. I had a date!


	7. Chapter 7

**There is no way I can express how unbelievably tied up at work I've been lately. I feel so guilty about not finishing up TBML before this ridiculousness started, but to make it up to those of you who are reading both, I've decided to post one more chapter here before I sit down and finish up the other story. :) Hope that works.**

**P.S. I am so sorry for not replying to every review last chapter. Please see the first sentence of this note.**

My dad decided to take the rest of the week off to help me out around the house and I was grateful. I spent the night at his house on Tuesday, because as happy as I was to get into my own house, it was a little lonely.

We rode over to my house together on Wednesday, and talked about our day ahead. Charlie and Jasper would be working in the basement, turning a dank, dark, borderline scary room into a fancy new laundry room and a den. My job for the day was to greet the furniture truck that would be delivering my new living room, dining room, and bedroom suits. I was excited to be able to rest on a nice, comfy couch, as opposed to the folding chairs I had stolen from Charlie's garage.

Jasper's truck was already in the driveway when we got to the house. As soon as we arrived, my dad disappeared down the stairs and I followed the smell of coffee into the kitchen, thankful that Jasper had started it when he arrived. I poured myself a cup and decided to take the men a cup as well. What greeted me at the bottom of the stairs was a surprise: my dad was doubled over, laughing... loudly.

If you were to ask anyone who knew Charlie Swan to describe him, they would undoubtedly give you some version of the following: dependable, hardworking, decent, and quiet. That, in a nutshell, is my father. My dad isn't a talker. He isn't a laugher. He doesn't dance, sing, or even move his hands when he talks. He is a quiet, even-keeled man who does not lose control, ever.

My very controlled father let out a loud snort and a rather gentlemanly, "Oh, fuck!"

"Dad?" I called, flabbergasted. "What the hell?"

Charlie's head flew up and his eyes met mine immediately. "Jasper, here, was just telling me a story about stapling his hand to a wall at one of his first jobs." He turned to face Jasper. "I think we're gonna have a good day, Son," he said, still chuckling.

I stared wide eyed as the men clapped each other on the back with huge smiles covering their faces. "Well, I brought coffee," I said, stating the obvious as I handed them each their mugs. Jasper smiled appreciatively at me and my dad grunted his approval. I headed upstairs, leaving them to their bonding and waited anxiously on my furniture delivery.

By the end of the day, several rooms in my house were livable and lovely. I still needed to make a trip to my storage house to pick up some furniture, decorative items, and all my kitchenware, but I was feeling good about what I had done so far. I was sitting on my sofa when Charlie and Jasper came into the room, chuckling.

"Wow, it looks great in here, Bells," my dad said, looking around the room with a grin. He disappeared into the hallway to look through the other rooms.

Jasper sat next to me and nudged me with his elbow. "Feels good, huh?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

My responding smile was so big it hurt my cheeks. "It feels fantastic! It looks like a real house, huh?"

He nodded and we sat in a comfortable silence until my dad came back into the room. He sat in the recliner and leaned back. "Ahh! This is nice. I might have to stay over here tonight!" he said, laughing.

"Yeah, I don't think Sue would appreciate that, Dad."

"Eh, I guess you're right. You wanna come over for supper?"

"I think I'm just gonna have a sandwich tonight. Maybe tomorrow?" I answered, yawning. I was excited to just relax- on furniture- in my new house. A knock at the door startled me and I jumped up to answer it.

Standing on the porch was Peter, carrying a delicious-smelling bag. His expression was wary, but he was smiling as he leaned in close before speaking quietly to me, "Hey, there. I hope you haven't eaten yet. I brought Chinese."

I stepped aside to let him in and answered, "No, I was just saying I thought it was going to be a sandwich night. Come on in." I led him into the living room and my dad and Jasper both nodded to Peter.

"Hey, man," Jasper acknowledged his cousin. "What's up?"

"Hey, Jazz," Peter said with a smile. He turned to my father and extended a hand. "Peter Whitlock," he said as they shook.

"Charlie Swan."

"Oh, you're Bella's dad. It's nice to meet you," Peter said politely.

"Yep," Charlie grunted. "I'm gonna get going, Bells."

"Oh, okay. I'll walk you out." I stepped out onto the porch and watched as my dad shuffled his feet on my top step. "Spit it out," I huffed impatiently.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, not very convincingly. "He seems polite," he added with a grimace. I nearly laughed out loud. Charlie never liked any man I was interested in, ever. He was so rude to Edward, I was honestly afraid he was going to dump me. I recognized he was just being my overprotective dad, and he was truly trying to be positive, so I ignored the weirdness and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"He's really nice and he brought me food. Even you can't find fault there, Dad. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

He nodded and walked slowly to his truck. I watched as he backed down the driveway and as I turned to walk back inside, Jasper was stepping out onto the porch. "I'm gonna head out, Bella. I'll see you in the morning."

"You want to stay and eat?" I asked, feeling a twinge of sadness at his leaving.

"Nah. Alice's mom is watching her today and she likes to get home before dark. You guys have a good night."

I smiled and stepped aside so he could get by me. His left side brushed mine as he passed and I felt it through my whole body. "See you later, Jasper," I said, barely above a whisper. He paused and sucked in a deep breath.

"Yeah," was his reply before he hurried down the steps to his truck. I walked back inside and locked the door. I stood in the foyer for a moment, taking a calming breath before heading into the dining room where Peter was setting up our food. We smiled shyly at one another before tucking into General Tso's chicken and beef and broccoli. I was hungrier than I realized and wolfed down everything on my plate. I leaned back in my chair with my hand over my belly, stuffed and sleepy.

"Want to stay a while? We could put on a movie. I have furniture now, you know," I said with a huge smile.

"I saw that. How about you give me a tour?" he responded, standing and clearing his trash. I walked him through the house, pointing out all the architectural details that had drawn me to the house in the first place. He smiled and nodded politely, but I had the feeling he didn't give two shits about my crown molding or wainscoting. I appreciated the effort, nonetheless. When we got to the master bedroom, I paused just a second before opening the door. I felt a bit nervous having him in my bedroom, though I couldn't express why.

He walked in like he owned the room and nodded. "It's nice in here." I climbed up on the bed and sat back against the pillows while he looked around, in my closets and bathroom before coming back into the room. "I really like your house, Bella. It's shaping up really quickly."

I blushed as he toed off his shoes and sat next to me, pulling me into his side. I leaned my head on his chest and listened to his heart pound against his ribs. He seemed nervous and it made me feel better. I couldn't deny my attraction to Peter, nor could I deny our chemistry. I decided to let go a bit. "If you want to pick a movie, we can watch it in here. I haven't picked up a TV for the other room, yet. The DVD's are still in a box in the living room." He agreed and rolled off the bed. Before he left the room, I blurted, "I'm going to take a quick shower, okay?"

I washed as quickly but as thoroughly as I could manage. I dried off and slipped on a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top, opting for comfort over style. I combed through my damp hair and brushed my teeth.

When I walked back into the bedroom, Peter already had the movie set up and ready to go. I smiled as he pressed play: he had chosen The Goonies. He pulled me back against his chest and ran his fingers through my hair slowly, making me feel both tingly and sleepy. I snuggled up a little closer to him and tangled my legs with his. My hand slid from his chest to the hem of his shirt, and I slid my fingers under the fabric to rest against his skin.

He ran his fingers down my hair once more before settling his hand on my hip. I sighed as his thumb moved back and forth over the fabric of my shorts. I was definitely more tingly than drowsy at this point. I was enjoying the feel of his hard chest and the soft skin on his belly, and when his fingers slid from my hip to my thigh, I had to bite back a moan. He moved his hand up slowly till just the tips of his fingers were under the edge of my shorts. His fingernails scratched lightly against my sensitive skin, and I felt myself break into gooseflesh. I made an effort not to stretch and rub against him like a cat in heat.

I felt my cheeks heat as I realized that I was practically panting, but then I noticed that Peter was breathing heavier than usual, too. I tilted my head to look at him and I was surprised to see him looking down at me. His eyes met mine for a moment before shifting to my mouth. He leaned down to kiss me, rolling slightly so he was hovering over me.

Our kisses were deep and slow and we both forced ourselves to breathe through our noses so we didn't have to break apart. My legs fell open and he settled his hips between mine, effortlessly. He kneaded the muscles in my thighs firmly and pulled my legs around his waist as he ground his pelvis into mine. I felt his erection rub deliciously against my heated center and couldn't hold back my moan.

His answering growl helped me focus and I knew we were moving much too quickly. I put my hand against his chest and pushed lightly. He backed away immediately and searched my face with a question in his eyes. "I'm sorry," I breathed. "We need to slow down."

Peter's cheeks were pink and his lips were swollen. His eyes were filled with lust and I wanted to kick my own ass for stopping us. He rolled off me and threw his arm over his face, taking a huge breath. "I'm sorry. I got carried away," he said softly. He dropped his arm to his stomach and turned to look at me, throwing me an apologetic smile.

"Don't apologize!" I said quickly. "I was enjoying myself. I just think we were moving a little fast." I leaned over and kissed him softly on the mouth. "Do you want to stay and finish the movie?" I asked quietly.

"I should probably go home," he said, bringing my forehead down to meet his. "You're much too tempting." I laughed lightly and climbed over him and off the bed, walking him out. At the front door, he wrapped me in his arms in a huge bear hug. "I can't wait until this weekend," he whispered in my ear.

"Me, too," I said, kissing his jaw.

I watched his tail lights until they disappeared down my driveway into the trees and then I hurriedly locked up the house. I went back to my bedroom and reached into my bedside table, thankful that I had already unpacked "old reliable." I brought myself quickly to climax, more than a little startled when the image that pushed me over the edge wasn't of Peter, but of Jasper.


	8. Chapter 8

**Another short JPOV. :) I have no idea why I always make his chapters so short, but I do. It's a fact.**

"I just need to fuck her out of my system, I think," Peter said with a sigh.

"Wait.. What?" I asked. I had been more focused on the game than our conversation and his comment caught my attention.

"Charlotte, man. She's all I can think about. I miss her every fucking day. I think if I get laid, it'll help."

"Maybe," I agreed. "Now, seriously, did you come over here to talk about feelings? Because if so, I'm pausing the game and grabbing the nail polish."

"Shut up, fucker," he mumbled with a smile. It was nice to have my cousin nearby. I didn't have too many friends; just Emmett and Ben before Pete moved to town. Peter had just broken up with his girlfriend of for-fucking-ever, Charlotte. She was a nice girl, and cute, but they just hadn't worked out. I didn't ask a lot of questions and Peter didn't offer many explanations.

We watched the game and ate hotdogs and bullshitted for a while before I headed to bed. He stalled on the front porch. "Why don't you try to come tomorrow? I know Rose would come watch Alice for a while. Just come have a beer and a burger. You don't have to hang out long."

"Yeah, we'll see," I answered, feeling tired.

The next day, my sister called me and informed me that she would be stopping by to sit with Alice so I could head over to Ben and Angie's. I suspected Peter said something to her, but she didn't let on if that was the case. When she showed up around eight-thirty that evening, she was wearing a scary smile. I had seen that smile before and it was generally when she had dirt on you.

"I met Bella tonight. She's pretty cute, huh?" Rose asked, her eyes sparkling.

"She's at Ben and Angie's?" I asked. "Yeah, she's cute. She also pays well. What are you getting at, Rose?" I babbled, feeling surprisingly defensive... That fucking smile...

"Nothing. I was just saying she was cute." Her smile grew and she patted me on the back. "Anyway, we'll be fine here. Don't rush back." I kissed her cheek quickly and quickly walked to my truck. The whole way there, I chastised myself for feeling so excited to see Bella. It was ridiculous, really. It's not like I could pursue anything with the girl.

I mean, really, what would I say to her? "Hey, Bella. You're pretty awesome, and I know I'm married, but really I don't think it'd be cheating if you wanted to sit on my dick and maybe cuddle after." Right. I ran my hand over my face as I parked in front of the house. "Jesus Christ," I moaned as I climbed out of the truck. I had to get over my crush on this fucking girl!

Angie opened the door with a grin. "I think your cousin and Bella are hitting it off," she said happily.

"Who?" I asked as ice settled in my chest.

"Peter and Bella," she answered, looking at me like I was a crazy person. "Everybody's in the living room."

I walked into the room and my eyes immediately settled on Bella. She was wearing some sort of ruffly blue shirt and her hair was really shiny and her eyes were sparkling and she was tucked under my asshole cousin's arm. I sat next to her and gave her a little smile. I gave Peter a look that he hopefully understood as, "You better not use this girl to fuck your old girl out of your system." He was giving me some sort of eyes back, but before I could figure out what he was saying, Bella excused herself.

I leaned toward Peter and whispered, "You better come to the house after this. We need to talk." He nodded and we joined in the conversation around us. I didn't move from my seat even when Bella came back and settle between us. Our bodies were pressed together and there was some sort of pulsing current between us that made my dick hard and my skin tingle.

A while later, Bella yawned. And yawned again. She whispered to Peter and stood up, telling everyone bye. When she looked at me and quietly said, "Bye, Jasper. See you Monday," I couldn't even respond. My brain wouldn't cooperate. All I could think of was my cousin walking her to her car. Would he kiss her? Would they go out? Would he fuck her and dump her? I had no words for her in that moment.

I gave them long enough to say goodbye and I said my own goodbyes. I was deep in thought as I made my way to my truck, realizing only as I pulled away that Bella had still been in the driveway. I made my way quickly home, wanting to talk to Peter as soon as possible. He was sitting in the living room, already drinking a beer when I walked in the house. Rose was walking out of Alice's bedroom and I raised my eyebrows at her.

"She did great. She slept the whole time," she said, kissing my cheek. "I'm heading home. See you later."

I left her to let herself out as I checked on my wife. She was tiny in her bed. Her already petite body was emaciated and her beautiful face always looked exhausted and bruised. My chest clenched as I mourned the loss of our life for the millionth time. I kissed her gently on the forehead and left her door cracked behind me.

I grabbed a beer and sat on my favorite chair. I turned my head slightly towards Peter. "So. You and Bella, huh?"

He grinned at me. A shit eating grin that I hadn't seen from him in a long time. "Yeah, she's pretty cool, huh? I got her number."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. I took a long pull on my beer trying to figure out how to warn him to be good to her. She didn't deserve to be treated badly. "Listen, Pete, you know what you were talking about yesterday? If that's what you're after, you don't need to go after Bella."

He immediately shook his head. "No, man. I really like her. I mean, she's hot and I wouldn't mind fucking her, of course, but it's not like that. I was just talking out of my ass last night."

I gave him a long hard stare and he met my eyes with no hesitation. "I swear, Jasper. She's a really cool girl. I just want to get to know her."

I nodded, satisfied. Well, let's be honest: I wasn't satisfied, but I could deal with this.

I wanted to be the one getting to know Bella Swan and it pissed me off at myself. I shouldn't be wishing for another girl. I felt like a fucking monster. It had been so long since Alice's accident that I couldn't even imagine what our life together would be like any more.

I knew that Peter was a good guy and he could make Bella happy. That was all that mattered here. I could get over my crush and I could be happy for them. And even if I couldn't, I could damn sure pretend.

**FYI: My baby started kindergarten today. I'm pretty sure reviews will make me feel better. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to my husband, as weird as that may be, it looks like I'm going to be able to finally get a schedule going for this story. Once a week, I'm thinking it'll be Tuesdays. Woot!**

Thursday morning came with flushed cheeks and a stomach filled with butterflies as I remembered my Jasper-filled fantasies from the previous night. I took a shower, threw my hair up in a sloppy knot, dressed in a pair of comfortable cutoff denim shorts and a plain green tank top and began making breakfast. I started the coffee and then I got eggs ready for omelets and pulled out cheese, mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, peppers, and ham, unsure of what my dad and Jasper might want in theirs. I was a little jumpy, nearly screaming out loud when I heard the front door slam open.

"Bells?" my dad's voice hollered out, easily carrying through the entire house.

"In the kitchen," I replied. I poured his eggs into the pan and quirked an eyebrow at him as he entered the room. "Tomatoes, cheese, and ham?" I asked, knowing he would answer with a nod. "Toast?" I asked and he nodded again, grabbing the bread and placing it in the toaster.

"You okay?" he asked me, looking straight into my eyes. My dad had the ability to see right through me and I knew I was being a little weird. I couldn't get the images that I conjured up of Jasper to stop running through my head. I was feeling a little unsettled and extremely nervous about seeing him this morning.

"I'm okay. I just had a weird night," I admitted as I brushed my hair back with my fingers and wrapped it into a sloppy bun, tightly coiling and twisting it into itself until it held tight.

"You sure?" Charlie asked with an unsatisfied grunt. I leaned into my dad's solid body, resting my forehead onto his chest as he tucked a curl into my bun.

"Yeah," I breathed. "I just had weird dreams," I fibbed. He lifted his right eyebrow towards his hairline and I had to laugh a little at his expression. "I promise, Dad. I'm fine." I flipped his omelet onto a plate at the same time his toast popped up and as I handed him his plate, the doorbell rang. I smiled a little at how perfectly choreographed everything seemed as I walked to open the door for Jasper.

He smiled widely at me and leaned forward a little bit. "Good morning," he said quietly. My brain melted.

"Good morning," I squeaked. I took a small step back and a deep breath. "I have breakfast going. What do you want in your omelet?" I asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Wow, you're serious about your eggs, huh?" Jasper laughed, looking at everything I had spread across the counter. "Hey Charlie," he greeted my dad with a grin.

"Morning, Jasper," my dad mumbled around a huge bite of food.

"I guess I'll take everything," Jasper finally answered me, after looking into all the bowls. He grabbed a cup of coffee and topped off my cup. He sat at the table with my dad and they talked quietly, but intently, presumably about their plans for the day.

After breakfast, I went upstairs to change. Today was the actual closing on the house. I was excited, thought that felt silly, since I was already living there. This made it official, though. And this was one of the very first things I'd ever done in my life on my own. It was a good feeling.

I slipped on a pair of gray slacks that made my ass look fantastic and a silky, cap-sleeve, blue blouse. I let my hair fall down my back and combed through the tangles; a spritz of shine serum and I called my hair done. I swiped on some mascara and lip gloss and stepped into a pair of strappy black sandals.

I dug through my purse as I walked down the stairs, making sure I had everything I needed. As I stepped off the bottom stair, I heard a wolf whistle from across the room. I looked up, expecting to see my dad, and felt my cheeks warm when I saw Jasper standing there instead, smiling. "You look great!" he said easily, turning and walking down the stairs to the basement.

I was embarrassed and knew I needed to get a grip. "He's not available," I said to myself for the hundredth time since meeting Jasper Whitlock.

XOXOX

"Bella Swan, here to see Jacob Black," I said to the pretty receptionist. I was slightly jealous of her dark, almond shaped eyes and her high cheekbones, and when she stood to walk me into Jacob's office, I was most especially jealous of her tall, curvy figure. She flashed me a smile and held the door open for me, offering me tea or coffee.

I declined and walked into the room, smiling widely when I saw Jacob sitting behind his desk. "Hey, Jake," I said quietly.

"Bella Swan," he breathed. "You look really damn good!" he said with a grin, walking over to me and enveloping me in a huge hug. I took a deep breath and sighed at the spicy, fresh, familiar smell of Jacob Black.

Jake and I had known each other since we were children; our dads were best friends and we had been thrust together our whole lives. His mom passed away when he was really young and the day I was born was the only time I ever even met my mother. It has been told that she held me for about an hour, cried, and walked out of my life when my dad wasn't looking. Jake's dad, Billy, and Charlie had been two unprepared single dads, and Jake and I had been as close as siblings growing up.

He and I caught up for a few minutes before the old owner of my house showed up. Heidi Parker was the sweetest old lady you'd ever meet. She had long wavy gray hair that she usually kept in a bun at the nape of her long neck, and clear blue eyes. It was obvious by her bone structure that she had once been beautiful, but now she looked tired and a little sad. Her husband, Demetri, had recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and they were both moving in with their daughter.

The paperwork was signed and a hefty chunk of my savings was handed over to Mrs. Parker. She had tears in her eyes as she signed her name on the final black line, but she smiled at me and I could sense her sincerity when she spoke. "I'm so happy you were the one to buy our house. I know you'll fill it with memories like I have."

I hugged her tightly as she left and I felt simultaneously elated and heartbroken. "I own my house," I squeaked in Jake's direction.

"You do," he chuckled at me, quirking his left eyebrow. I shimmied a bit in my chair as a happy bubble settled in my stomach.

I glanced up and caught Jacob staring at me intensely. "What?" I asked, feeling self conscious under his gaze.

His eyes traveled over my body slowly as he answered, "You just really look good, Bells." Heat flooded my cheeks as he continued to look at me like I was something to eat. "Listen, do you wanna go to dinner one night next week? Maybe catch up a little more?" he asked me.

"Um, maybe," I hedged. "I've got a lot going on at the house. You want to just call me and we'll see?"

"Yeah, that'll work," he agreed. He stood as I did and offered to walk me out.

"Nah, that's okay, Jake. I know you've got work to do. Maybe I'll see you next week," I said, gathering my things.

XOXOX

I stopped at the hardware store for drawer pulls and knobs for my cabinets and headed home. My dad stepped out onto the porch as I drove up to the house, looking very guilty and a little excited. "Dad?" I said, hesitantly as I walked towards him. "What's going on?"

His smile was huge as he grabbed my hand and hauled me through the house. "Well, we've been working on a little something for you," he said with more enthusiasm than I was used to from him.

We walked out to the back yard and I gasped, stunned and speechless. My yard was such a mess, but even with dirt everywhere and debris scattered all over the place, I knew exactly what they had been working on. They had gotten started on my garden. Jasper was busy placing paving stones around, creating a path. The soil was already turned over and there were pots of beautiful flowers all around.

I turned my wide eyes to my dad and he threw his arm around my shoulders. "We just wanted to give you a proper house warming gift," he said happily. It was Jasper's idea, really, but we picked out everything together." I threw my arms around my dad's waist and squeezed him tightly.

Without a second thought, I walked over to Jasper and gave him a huge hug as well. I leaned my forehead against his hard chest and sighed. "Thank you so much," I breathed. "I can't believe you guys did this." I felt him stiffen and I was pretty sure he wasn't breathing. I started to pull away hesitantly, when he slowly wound his arms around my waist. I was stunned by the feeling of him wrapped around me and it felt like my heart was going to break through my ribs, it was pounding so hard.

Charlie cleared his throat behind me, startling me and causing me to step away from Jasper quickly. "What do you think, Kid?" he asked, quietly.

"I love this, guys," I answered honestly. "Thank you!"

Jasper and my dad showed me all the flowers and explained what they still had left to work on. They walked me around the path, pointing out what would go where. After a while, I let them get to work as I went inside to work on my few projects of the day.

I had just screwed on the last drawer pull when the doorbell rang. I rushed to answer the door and was a bit confused by the UPS man as I wasn't expecting a package. I signed for the box he held and carried it into the kitchen. I tore open the tape and pulled out a beautiful glass serving dish, all blues and greens and smooth, cool loveliness. I noticed a card inside and smiled as I read the inscription: 

"**Congratulations! I saw this and thought of you. I hope you can find a place for it in your home.**

**Until tomorrow, **

**-Peter"**

Charlie walked in as I slid the card back into the envelope. "What's that?" he asked jutting his chin toward the box.

"Peter sent me a gift," I answered absently, as I thought about where to display the bowl. My dad's face transformed immediately into a scowl.

"That's nice," he said, though his expression absolutely contradicted his words. He walked over and picked up the bowl. "It's a little generic, isn't it?"

"Dad! What is your problem? It's a nice gift!" I admonished with a frown. I snatched the bowl away from him and placed it on the counter. "Seriously, what is your issue with Peter? Do you not like him?"

My father looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I like Jasper more."

-x-

**Let's keep our fingers crossed for next Tuesday! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Well, clearly I'm not great at schedules.**

_My father looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I like Jasper more."_

"Dad, what the hell do you think is going to happen there? He's so unavailable!" I exclaimed, frustrated.

Charlie sighed and shook his head. "I know, Kid. I don't see how it could work out for you, but he's such a good guy. It's just wishful thinking, I guess."

I couldn't look at my dad anymore, choosing to stare at a spot on the counter top instead. I mean, obviously, I liked Jasper enough to wish the very same thing my dad did, but other than be satisfied with a partial relationship from him that I wasn't even sure he'd be interested in, I couldn't see how we could ever be together.

"It's not going to happen, Dad. Just please be nice to Peter. He really is nice."

My dad grunted, nodded, grabbed a couple bottles of water, and quietly headed back outside to help Jasper with the garden. I leaned heavily against the counter feeling strangely hollow and sad. I couldn't place my feelings, but I'd most liken them to regret. I huffed out a breath and got back to work.

XOXOX

Friday, Jasper called to let me know he couldn't make it. Alice was sick and he was worried she'd have to go to the hospital. He sounded so worried when he called that my heart broke for him.

"I hope everything is okay, Jasper. Let me know if you need anything. I make a mean casserole," I said as we were hanging up.

"Thanks, Bella. I'll see you Monday, hopefully."

The whole day, I worried. I hoped Alice was okay, and I considered how taxing it must be for Jasper to have to care for his wife like a small child. I was jittery and had trouble focusing on much of anything. I went to the kitchen and pulled out the ingredients for a pasta casserole. I started a meat sauce and made some pesto. My dad came into the room as I was stirring together the pasta, pesto, and some ricotta.

"What's this?" he asked, tasting the spaghetti sauce. I smacked his hand away, smiling.

"I thought I'd take this over to Jasper's house since I'm sure he's got a lot on his plate today," I answered, pouring the mixture into a casserole dish. My dad poured the sauce over top and I sprinkled mozzarella over the whole thing. Mmmm... there's just nothing like carbs and cheese.

"Don't you have a date?" Charlie reminded me.

"Oh shit!" I yelped when I caught sight of the clock. It was already six o'clock and I was sweaty and smelled like garlic.

"I'll take it on my way home," he offered, grabbing the tin foil out of the pantry. "I wanted to check on things anyway. I missed my partner today."

I smiled at my dad's sincere words. He and Jasper were really becoming buddies and it was just a little precious. "Okay," I agreed. "Will you please let him know I'm thinking about them and I hope everything's alright?"

Charlie nodded and kissed my forehead. "Text me when you get home, Kid." I tried to hide my smile as I agreed. My dad had only had a cell phone for about a year. He was quite literally the last person I knew to have one and that included my seventy-eight year old grandmother. He was extremely proud of his new-found ability to text and send and receive pictures. He also tended to forward every damn joke that came his way. It was extremely cute and it was hard not to tease him about it.

I hurried into my bathroom and brushed my teeth while the water heated. I took the fastest shower I could manage while still being thorough and quickly slathered on moisturizer and deodorant. I quickly dried my hair and smoothed it into a knot low on the side of my head and put on my makeup. I was still wrapped in a towel and completely clueless about what to wear.

I searched my closet, finally deciding on a sweet dress with cap sleeves. It was all yellows and greens and blues and sunshine and innocence but it made me feel sexy. The neckline was just low enough to show a nice amount of cleavage and the waist was cinched tight, making my slight curves look more voluptuous. I slipped on my sexiest pumps; they were gorgeous green masterpieces that made my calves look amazing and made my hips sway slightly when I walked. I was just spritzing on a bit of perfume when I heard the doorbell.

My heart was in my throat as I walked to the door. My palms were sweaty, which seemed extremely silly as I had made out with Peter just a few days prior. I supposed my nerves were more due to the fact that I hadn't been on a date in years. Literally.

I opened the door and my breath caught in my throat at what was waiting for me on the porch. Peter looked good. Really, really good. He was wearing a pair of gray slacks and a blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His shoulders were broad and his hips were narrow and his shirt fit him perfectly and his pants were just a little low... It was all good news. I was burning low in my belly and my cheeks felt flushed.

"Hey," he said quietly, and I snapped my eyes back up to his face. "You look beautiful," he said, leaning forward to catch my lips with his.

"You do, too," I said, startled by how breathy and low my voice sounded. I cleared my throat and tried to sound normal. "I mean, you look great," I amended.

Peter smiled widely, his teeth white and his eyes sparkling and crinkling just a bit. "Are you ready?" he asked, holding out his hand.

"Yeah, let me grab my bag."

I ran upstairs quickly and loaded a small clutch with lip gloss, my phone, my wallet, and breath mints. I paused in front of a mirror to do a quick check and, satisfied, walked back downstairs to meet Peter.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we got into his car.

"Port Angeles," he answered. "We have reservations for supper and I figured we could see if there's a movie we'd like to see."

We laughed the entire way to the restaurant and about halfway there, Peter reached over and grabbed my hand. It was nice. I loved the way his big hand completely swallowed mine and there was a pleasant pulsing of electricity between us.

I tried not to compare it to how it felt when Jasper touched me.

We pulled up in front of Michael's and Peter opened my car door for me. I felt very much like a lady as he held my hand to help me up. He guided me into the restaurant with his hand on my low back and I smiled up at him when he mentioned our reservation to the hostess. He was so, so tall and so, so handsome and I was really beginning to enjoy myself.

I ordered the mussels, Peter ordered a steak, and we both had wine. Our conversation was so easy and light and when he asked questions about my life with Edward, I didn't hesitate to answer him. He talked about his family and I noticed most of his stories involved Rosalie, Jasper, and someone named James.

"Wait, now, who is James?" I asked, when I realized he hadn't explained who he was. Peter's eyes widened for a split second and his face froze on a half smile, but it seemed awkward.

He seemed to weigh his words for a moment, and gave me a resigned sigh. "He's Jasper and Rose's brother."

Oh. Well, that seemed simple enough, but I could tell I was missing something. "Does he live nearby?" I asked, casually.

Peter nodded. "He lives in Seattle, actually. He and his wife, Victoria, have two little ones, Jane and Alec."

"Oh, I've never heard Jasper mention them. Are they close?"

Peter stared at me for a long moment and then shook his head. "No. Not anymore. Look, this isn't my story at all, and I don't know how much you know about Alice's accident, so I don't know how much to tell you."

"Well, I know she was hit by a drunk driver, right?" I asked, feeling dreadful for being so nosy, but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

"Right. Well, Alice was out with Victoria that night and they had been drinking. They called Jasper to pick them up, but he was out with Emmett and didn't get the phone call. Long story short, James came to pick them up and he was the one driving when they were hit. James blames himself for the accident while Jasper blames himself. Neither one of them can bare seeing the other. It's ridiculous and unhealthy, but they haven't really been around each other since that night."

"That's just terrible," I said quietly.

"Yeah," Peter agreed. We sat in silence for a moment and when Peter tried to start up the conversation again, I gratefully went along with him. After a few minutes the awkwardness disappeared and we were back to normal, laughing and flirting.

XOXOX

We decided to see a romantic comedy and we sat in the very back row. Peter lifted the armrest between us and I snuggled into his side. We made out like teenagers through the entire show and I was surprised when people stood to file out of the theater.

"I have no idea what the movie was about," I giggled as we walked hand in hand to his car.

Peter flashed me a cocky grin. "Well, we were otherwise occupied," he said, throwing me a wink.

When we got to my house, he walked me to the door. He gave me the kind of kiss that made me know he wanted to come inside. I slowed the kiss down and ended with a peck on his chin. "I had a really good time tonight," I said against his jaw.

"I did, too," he agreed wrapping his arms tightly around my waist as he leaned down to kiss my neck.

"I have an early day tomorrow," I said regretfully. I really did have a lot to do over the weekend, but I also just wasn't quite ready to move our physical relationship forward.

Peter dropped his forehead to my shoulder and let out a breath. "Alright. Can I call you this weekend?"

"It'll hurt my feelings if you don't," I replied shyly.

He gave me one last chaste kiss before I went inside.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth and texted my dad in a happy daze. I peeled off my clothes and threw on a tank top and fell into bed. I was asleep nearly instantly.

The next morning, I woke up to the smell of coffee. My dad was sitting at the kitchen table when I came downstairs and he wore a somber expression. "Morning, Dad. Everything okay?"

He nodded, but his expression was still grim. "I'm fine, but I do have some bad news. Alice is in the hospital. She's got some sort of respiratory infection. I guess it's a bigger deal because of her condition, but things aren't looking real good."


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks so much for all the reviews and alerts for last chapter! I'm so sorry I wasn't able to answer most of them. I read and appreciated every single one, though.**

**Also, I know I said I'd try to update every Tuesday, but as you can see, it's been more like every other Tuesday. I have learned my lesson about making promises, but if you can live with updates every two weeks, I can certainly try my very best to deliver.**

My dad and I walked through the sliding doors of the hospital together and the antiseptic smell made my eyes water. We made our way to the ICU waiting room and offered a small smile to those sitting there. Rosalie and Emmett were huddled around an exhausted looking Jasper, talking quietly. Rose was rubbing his shoulder, obviously trying to soothe him. An older man and woman sat next to them. The man was looking at his phone while the woman whispered in his ear. On looks alone, I deduced that they must be Jasper's parents.

I recognized Alice's parents, sitting across the room from the Whitlocks. They looked old; much older than I remembered, and just broken. My dad made his way to sit next to Mr. Brandon. He clapped his shoulder and spoke quietly to the pair.

A warm hand on my back startled me. "I didn't mean to sneak up on you, Bella," Peter murmured. "Do you need a hand?" he asked, nodding at the bags in my hand.

"I brought food," I said shyly. "Do you think they're hungry?"

He nodded and took one of the bags from me. We began to dole out sandwiches, bags of chips, and bottles of water. Everyone responded the same way, with a nod and a grateful smile. After everyone had food, I sat next to Peter and we ate in silence. After we finished, I quietly asked Peter about Alice.

"Why don't we go for a walk?" he asked, grabbing my hand. When we got into the elevator, he began to answer my question. "She's actually improved a lot."

"Well, that's good, right?" I asked, feeling confused by his grim tone and the way his mouth was drawn into a hard line.

"It is good, but Jasper is having a hard time. Alice's parents want her to go to a nursing facility. They've been talking about it since she was admitted and I think Jasper is close to agreeing. She just needs more help than he can provide. He's pretty torn up about it."

"Oh." Poor Jasper. I had a hard time even imagining what his life must be like. I was so thankful that everyone in my life was healthy. I tried my best not to take that for granted.

Peter grabbed my hand and we walked around for a while, just talking. I could tell he was worrying about Jasper. "Why don't we head back up?" I asked after a while. He seemed a little distracted and I figured he wanted to get back upstairs.

When we got back into the waiting room, I couldn't hold in my gasp. Jasper's face was buried in his hands and he was obviously crying. The women in the room were soothing him while the men looked sad and uncomfortable.

"Is everything okay?" I whispered to my dad.

"Yeah. The social worker from the nursing facility just came in and spoke with him. He's going to let Alice go there when she's released tomorrow."

XOXOXOX

Monday, I had to drag myself out of bed. I let myself sleep in a bit since I figured Jasper wouldn't be coming over and my dad had gone back to work. I stretched and yawned before climbing out of my comfortable nest. I quickly relieved myself and pulled my hair back into a high pony tail. I was wearing the rattiest pair of yoga pants I owned and my shirt from a concert I went to in eleventh grade. Imagine my surprise when I literally bumped into Jasper at the bottom of my stairs. I let out a startled yelp and fell flat on my butt.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Jasper asked, his voice tense and low as he helped me up.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't expect to see you today! What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well, Alice was released from the hospital last night. They've been getting her settled at the nursing home and I just wanted to do something a little normal today. I hope it's okay that I'm here."

He looked so uncertain and so sad. Without thinking, I pulled him into a tight hug. He didn't hesitate this time and he wrapped his arms tightly around me. His shoulders slumped and I felt him all around me; I was surrounded by Jasper.

I knew, intellectually, that this hug was nothing but comfort for Jasper. My body, unfortunately, was reacting in a way that was anything but comforting. My breath hitched and I had to concentrate and count as I inhaled and exhaled to keep myself from panting. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears; it was all I could hear. My stomach was liquid and heat and my legs were weak and rubbery.

Jasper was warmth and spice and electricity and I didn't want to let go.

It seemed Jasper didn't want to let go either. His body seemed to relax against mine and he felt nearly heavy in my arms. His hand snaked up my back and wrapped around the hair that had fallen from my ponytail. I don't know how long we stood in my entryway hugging, but when we began to sway, we reluctantly let go of one another.

My body immediately missed his body. I had to force myself not to walk straight back into his embrace.

Instead, I offered him breakfast.

I have, since I was a small child, tried to mend people with food. I have no idea when this started. I know a lot of people who eat when they're stressed or just emotional. I've never had that problem, but I've always been a stress-cooker. If there's something on my mind, I work it out in the kitchen. There's something about following a recipe, particularly rigid recipes for baked goods, that I find soothing. I can only assume my need to feed people stems from this.

Forty-five minutes later, Jasper and I were sitting on my porch swing eating blueberry muffins and fruit salad. He had been quiet all morning, and I didn't want to pry, choosing instead to close my eyes and enjoy the rare sunshine.

The warmth from the sun and the gentle sway of the swing must have lulled me to sleep, and I was startled awake when Jasper cleared his throat.

"I'm going to visit Alice around two o'clock. I figured I'd spend a couple of hours there."

I nodded my understanding, opening my eyes and turning toward him.

"Would it be okay with you if I came back and worked on the garden some more after? I don't really know what I'm going to do with myself without having Alice in the house. I've been watching over her for so long, I just don't know.." he trailed off and I was overwhelmed by the depth of sadness in his eyes.

"Of course," I answered quickly. "You should know you're always welcome here. Even if you just want to hang out and watch a movie or something to get out of the house sometime."

"Thanks, Bella," he said, looking genuinely relieved.

XOXOXOX

When Jasper left to go see Alice, I walked through my house, checking off projects on the extremely detailed lists Sue had made for me. I was pleased to find that there were only a few things left to accomplish and none of those were pressing.

I realized I hadn't spoken to Sue in a few days and gave her a call, inviting her and my dad over for supper the following weekend. We agreed on a time and chatted for a few minutes. I was hanging up the phone when I heard someone tapping lightly on the front door. Jasper stood on my porch looking defeated.

"How is she?" I asked, knowing it must have been hard for him to leave her there.

"She's okay. The staff are really nice and she seems comfortable. I just feel kind of weird, you know? I've been taking care of her for years. I don't really know how to live any other way, anymore."

"Come on in. You know you don't actually have to work, right? We can just watch a movie or something," I said, pulling at the hem of my shirt.

"If it's okay with you, I think I want to do some work on the garden. I just need to keep myself busy for a while."

I sat on the back porch with a book while Jasper worked. I felt a little like a jerk sitting around while he busted his ass, but he seemed to want to be alone. I watched him as he worked. He looked like a machine, his movements were sure, but his eyes were vacant and I knew he was a million miles away.

I knew then that I had to help him. I didn't know how, but I just had to help him learn to live again.

**XXX**

**This chapter was a little short, but Jasper's POV is next. :)  
****Thanks so much for reading. Let me know what you think of the story so far, please.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Here's our boy's chapter. I love Jasper. And I love you. I swear I read your comments and I love them. I always hate not getting replies to reviews I leave, and I promise that in about a week I'm going to have so much more time to do things I want to... like reply to you. :) **

**This begins with the hug from chapter nine.**

Bella wrapped her arms around me, and rested her forehead against my chest. My heart was beating so fast and so hard, I just knew she had to feel it. I felt her warm breath seep into my shirt and caress my chest. She was talking, but I had no idea what she was saying. I realized, belatedly, that I was standing stiff as a board, not even breathing, while this wonderful, perfect girl embraced me.

My arms moved of their own volition and suddenly I was wrapped around Bella Swan. Her scent was soft and less perfume than natural sweetness. More like cream and honey than anything manufactured. I closed my eyes as I breathed her in, wishing I could run my nose all over her body. Her hair tickled my arms and when I opened my eyes, I noticed how each strand shone in the sun. Her hair was the color of a cherry coke. My senses were very nearly overwhelmed by her.

More than anything, was the very feel of her body against mine. There was certainly the fact that her body was amazing; petite but curvy; and soft, but muscular. It was so much more, though. It was the sad truth that I hadn't been touched in so long, my skin buzzed almost painfully. The muscles in my stomach twitched from nerves, longing, or both. My body wanted to wrap around her body, to explore every curve and crevice.

After what was likely an inappropriately long hug, I glanced up and met the eyes of Charlie Swan. Shit. He didn't look angry. He looked speculative. He cleared his throat and I reluctantly stepped back from Bella and turned back to the garden.

She was excited about what we had accomplished so far, and Charlie and I happily showed her around the garden, trying our best to give her a tour of what it would eventually look like. Her eyes sparkled and a huge smile covered her face.

When Bella walked back into the house, Charlie approached me. I expected him to be angry with me. I imagined he could read my mind as I was hugging his daughter. Instead, he patted my shoulder and gave me a sad smile.

He and I spent the rest of the day working and just hanging out. I was happy we'd gotten so close during the week. He was a real cut up. He had such a dry sense of humor, but he was witty as hell and just a genuinely cool guy.

Throughout the day, I remembered how Bella's body felt pressed against mine and I could almost imagine there being a way for us to be together. It just seemed less hopeless, somehow. Between Charlie making me laugh and Bella making me feel like a regular guy, I was in a great mood by the end of the day. I even caught myself whistling as I drove home.

As soon as I walked into my house, I could feel the dread settle back in my stomach. The house was quiet and I headed straight for Alice's room. Her mom was there, sitting in the bed with Alice, rocking her and running her fingers through her hair. Her worried expression stopped me short.

"She has a fever," she said with a sigh.

"How high?" I asked, immediately reaching for my phone.

"It's around a hundred degrees. Not too high, but I'm a little worried," she answered. "Before you call the doctor, I wanted to talk to you, Jasper."

I stopped dialing, and looked up. Mary Brandon was looking at me, her face so filled with love and sadness, I had to look away. "What's up?" I asked in a quiet voice. The dread in my stomach had expanded and I could barely swallow around it.

"Bill and I have been talking, and we're concerned about you. You've given up your life for our daughter and while we are so appreciative that you love her and have been willing to do that, you're still so young. It doesn't seem fair for you not to have your own life." I opened my mouth to object, but she plowed on, "We'd like you to consider placing Alice in a nursing facility. There's an amazing one right in Port Angeles. Bill and I went there last week and they have beds available. I'm not asking for an answer right now, but I have a brochure for you to look at, okay? We filled out the paperwork, but we haven't submitted it. We all need to be in agreement, of course."

I nodded, stunned. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't also feel a little relief. As terrible as it sounded, I was aware that I was beginning to feel resentful about caring for Alice. She had been the love of my life, but truthfully, that girl had been dead a long time. All that was left was her shell.

I went to bed early that night. My dreams were strange and disjointed and were filled with Alice, my Alice before the accident. I woke up feeling more tired and more confused than when I went to bed.

I went check on Alice and my heart sank. She was covered in sweat and her breathing was labored. I watched her chest expand and contract with each wheeze. She was burning up and when I checked her temperature, I panicked. One hundred and four degrees.

I called her doctor as I pulled on my jeans and he agreed to meet me at the hospital. Then, I called Bella to let her know I wouldn't be able to work for her for the day and loaded Alice up in her carseat. We met Dr. Banner in the ER and I watched his face as he examined my wife. I knew when his eyes met mine that it wasn't good news.

**I know some of you really seem disappointed by the way Jasper's POV is never a full summary of the previous chapters. This was something I had planned from the beginning, as I wanted this to be primarily Bella's story. I've been toying with the idea of writing a short JPOV with every chapter to send out as review replies. Let me know if you like this or no. I can go either way. Thanks! **

**apk**


	13. Chapter 13

**Let's all take a moment of silence, please, to remember my fallen laptop...**

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**Amen.**

When Jasper decided to call it a day on the garden, I asked him to eat supper with me. I threw together a bagged salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, and a chopped up rotisserie chicken and garlic bread. "I see you're going all out," Jasper teased as he grabbed the bread from the toaster oven.

"Only the best for my guests," I laughed, enjoying the light atmosphere. We sat at the small table in the kitchen to eat and after a few awkward moments, we relaxed into a conversation. We opened a bottle of wine and the conversation changed direction. We became a bit more serious and shared a bit about our pasts.

I asked him to tell me about Alice and I was overwhelmed by his expression, so full of love and sadness. "Well, what would you like to know?" he asked quietly.

"Anything," I answered. "How did you meet?"

"We met in college," he began. His eyes softened and he smiled a real smile. "I was in my Western Civilization class and it was about two weeks into the semester. This tiny girl with huge eyes and a smile that covered her whole face sat next to me. When the class ended, she told me she was tired of waiting for me to notice her. She introduced herself, asked me to dinner, and the rest was history."

He was quiet for a long while. "She was my other half," he finished, simply. I smiled, leaning my head on my hands.

"You were very lucky to find each other," I told him. "Most people search their entire lives for their soul mate."

"I do feel lucky, sometimes. But other times, I think it makes it so much worse. I mean, I know what it's like to feel like I belong with someone. I just can't imagine getting that chance twice in one lifetime." I slid my hand to rest on his arm as he spoke. "I'm pretty sure that part of my life is over."

"You can't know that, Jasper," I started but he shook his head, interrupting me.

"I can't really think about it, Bella. I don't even know how to wrap my head around the possibility."

We were both quiet for several minutes, each lost in our own thoughts. "So, tell me more about you," Jasper prompted.

"There's not a lot to tell, really. I grew up here in Forks, married my high school sweetheart, divorced my high school sweetheart, and moved home. It's a pretty sad, boring story."

"What is your ex's name?"

"Edward Cullen. He was everything to me for a long time. I was so immersed in him, I lost my personality for a while. In fact, I think I'm still working on becoming me again," I answered.

"Why'd you guys divorce?" Jasper asked softly.

"Well," I sighed. "I found out that sometimes love isn't enough."

I refilled our glasses, grabbed another wine bottle, and stood up, walking toward the living room. "Let's watch a movie. That's enough serious talk." I sat on the floor in front of my DVD collection. "Any requests?" I asked Jasper as he settled onto the couch.

"Something funny," he said with a little grin.

I held up three movies and he pointed to the one in the middle. "Stepbrothers will be perfect," he said, smiling. "A brainless comedy will do me good right now, I think." I started the movie and sat on the opposite side of the couch from Jasper. I curled my feet against my hip and snuggled down into the cushions.

After I got comfortable, I glanced at Jasper, frowning when I saw how sad he looked. "Jasper?" I said, quietly and his eyes shot to mine. "You can talk to me about her if you want to."

He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. He looked exhausted. "I just feel so strange being here," he said with a groan. "I'd rather be here than at home," he added quickly, "but I don't know what the hell to do with myself."

I nodded, completely at a loss. I didn't know how to comfort him; I couldn't even imagine how he was feeling.

"Did you know Alice well?" he asked, shifting his body towards mine.

"No, not really at all. I smiled at her in the hall at school- that sort of thing, but I don't think we ever actually had a conversation."

"She was truly amazing. Just a little tiny thing with the hugest personality I've ever come across. She was so colorful and beautiful and I loved her almost right away." Jasper's eyes left mine and I could tell he wasn't in my living room anymore; he was right back in college, falling in love with a spectacular Alice. "She danced more than she walked. You know? She'd be in the line at the grocery story, swaying and humming, and in her own world. She daydreamed more than was probably healthy," he huffed a tiny laugh.

"I imagined when I first met her that she'd be some demure little sweet thing, but when someone pissed her off, she had no problem standing up for herself. She made men twice her size cower." I watched as he smirked, his eyes moving back to mine. "Alice was truly passionate about things she believed in and didn't mind letting you know it."

I stayed quiet, realizing Jasper needed to vent for a while. He leaned the side of his head against the back of the couch and dropped his eyes to his lap. "When we realized she was never going to have normal brain function again, I was just heartbroken. I haven't heard Alice's sweet voice in seven years unless she's crying. I know you're going to think I'm a terrible person for saying this, but sometimes, when I'm my tiredest and my darkest, I almost wish she had just died in the accident."

My eyes burned with unshed tears. "I don't think you're terrible, Jasper. I think the hand you and Alice were dealt is shitty. I think you're amazing to stay with her when so many people, particularly as young as you were, would have walked away." I reached out and grabbed his hand, holding on tightly. "I can understand how you would feel that way, absolutely. She's not Alice anymore, and I can't imagine how hard that must be for you. Her heart is beating, yes, but she's not living, and it must be difficult to be able to look at her and to be able to touch her, but not be able to really share your lives anymore."

Jasper squeezed my hand tightly and when I looked at him, his face was covered in tears. I pulled him gently to me, wrapping my arms around his back as he settled his face in the crook of my neck. I could tell he was struggling to control his emotions as he took deep, shaky breaths. My hands ran slowly and gently up and down his long back. "It's okay, Jasper. You can always talk to me. I'll always be here for you," I murmured quietly, trying to soothe my friend.

Several minutes passed as I alternated between rubbing and scratching his back, and my lips pulled into a smile when he let out a light snore. I shifted so he could stretch out on the couch and walked to the hall closet to retrieve a pillow and a blanket. I covered him with the blanket and gently lifted his head, sliding the pillow into place. After turning off the lights and television, I went upstairs to bed, my thoughts on the sad, handsome man on my couch.

I vowed I would help Jasper any way I could. I was more determined than ever to help him find himself again, I just wasn't sure how.

**Happy new year!**

**Okay, I asked you guys last chapter if you were interested in JPOVs as review replies and the general consensus was, "Meh." So, I think maybe I'll offer it occasionally (I'll let you know when it's coming) and just stick with the way things are for now. Thanks for reading! Let me know how I'm doing.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Okay. I feel really bad about how long it's taken me to update. To those of you who asked, everybody is finally, finally, finally home and on the mend. Finally. Thanks so much for all your concern and sweet words. :) To those of you who were less kind about my absence, I feel I should let you know that rudeness actually doesn't help me write faster.**

**Also, this is a little short, but I really wanted to get something posted today, so please accept this as what it is.**

**Every time I promise to update on a certain day, it bites me in the ass, but I solemnly swear that I will update again as soon as humanly possible.**

By the time the weekend rolled around, the cookout had grown to a full-blown party. What started as an invitation for Sue and Charlie, evolved to include Sue's son, Seth, Peter, Jasper, Angela, and Ben. I had steaks and chicken marinating and veggie kebabs assembled and ready to grill. Angela was bringing her famous macaroni and cheese, Peter volunteered to bring the beer, and Sue was bringing dessert.

Jasper was in my back yard, setting up tables for the party. He and I had spent a lot of time together since the night he spent at my house. He was having a hard time adjusting to Alice being gone. The visiting hours at her facility ended at eight o'clock every evening and he and I had fallen into hanging out each night this week. Peter joined us one night for a movie and Angela and Ben came over the next and we had pizza and played an overly competitive game of cards. We kept the conversations light and filled with laughter.

I made a quick sweep through the house, picking up any clutter I came across. The inside of the house was finished other than a bit of work left in the basement, and I had settled in nicely. I was completely in love with my home and I was happy to have people over. I glanced at the clock, feeling pleased when I realized I still had about an hour and a half before people started showing up at three o'clock.

I grabbed a bottle of water and went outside just as Jasper was drilling the last of the screws into the final table. He accepted the water with a grin and wiped his face and neck off with the hem of his shirt. I ogled him shamelessly since he wasn't looking at me, and let out an small but audible sigh as his abs came into view. The man had a sexy stomach. He had a tattoo on his ribs that covered the entire left side of his torso and a perfect, deep V at the bottom of his abs. I looked away quickly, not letting myself get caught up in that train of thought.

"Do you need any help out here?" I asked, loving the way the tables looked in my yard; like they belonged there and that my yard should always hold parties.

"Nope, I'm finished. They look good, huh?" he asked with a small, smug grin.

"I am in love with them!" I said sincerely. My backyard really looked amazing. Jasper had finished with the area around the screened porch and the patio. He had already placed the meandering stone pathway to the pond from the house and was slowly working his way there with the gardening. He had set up five tables- one large outdoor dining table on the patio and some smaller bistro tables throughout the yard, far enough apart that I could maneuver around them easily, but close enough that you could still have conversations between tables.

"Thanks, Jasper!" I said, grabbing and squeezing his hand. He squeezed back and our hands reluctantly parted. "I'm going to take a shower. If you want, you can use the downstairs bathroom to get ready. You brought your clothes, right?"

He answered with a nod and a grin. He disappeared into the guest bathroom and when I heard the shower turn on, I headed upstairs to take my own shower. It was tempting to run my hands slowly over my body, imagining Jasper downstairs, naked and wet. Instead, I scrubbed quickly and got dressed in a pair of shorts and a pretty green tank top. I threw my hair in a sleek pony tail and ran mascara over my lashes. I glanced in the mirror, pleased at my happy reflection smiling back at me. Moving home had been really good for me so far.

Jasper was in my kitchen, filling big blue coolers with the bags of ice he brought over. He smiled a happy smile when he noticed me and started loading sodas into one of the coolers, saving the other for the beer. "You look pretty," he said really casually, but the tips of his ears turned red and he seemed to be focusing really hard on the cooler.

"Thanks," I blushed. I stood awkwardly next to the counter, watching him for a few seconds. Suddenly shy, I wasn't sure what to say. Just as I was opening my mouth to fill the silence with nervous chatter, the doorbell rang. Sighing in relief, I went to answer the door.

XOXOX

The boys all congregated around the grill while Sue, Angela, and I sat around the kitchen table laughing and gossiping. "My god, Bella!" Sue laughed, "That Peter is sexy, huh?"

I smiled widely. "Yeah, he's pretty easy on the eyes."

"I have to say, though, I think Jasper may be even better looking!" she said, looking through the french doors at the guys in question.

Angela laughed and nodded, "Those Whitlock boys are definitely hot. I'll admit I'm a little jealous that Bella gets to see Jasper with his shirt off all the time!"

"It's definitely a nice perk," I said, giggling.

My dad grinned at us as he walked into the kitchen. "What are you ladies laughing about?" he asked as he grabbed a beer. When no one replied, he shrugged and headed back outside.

Sue and Angela burst into laughter and I couldn't contain my smile.

XOXOX

My dad, Sue, and Seth left together around nine o'clock, with promises of another visit the following week. Angela and Ben were straightening my kitchen and Jasper was cleaning the mess we all made outside. Peter wrapped his arms around my arm and pulled me gently up the stairs. "What are we doing?" I asked with a smile as we reached the door to my bedroom.

Instead of answering, Peter's mouth met mine in a passionate kiss. He pulled my body firmly against his, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "I just needed a few minutes with you alone," he finally replied, as our lips parted.

Panting, I looked up at his handsome face and giving myself no time to reconsider or over-think, blurted, "Do you want to stay here tonight?" The grin that covered his face in response was shockingly bright and I wasn't sure I'd ever seen him look so happy.

"Absolutely," he breathed.


	15. Chapter 15

**-Hello, lovelies. :) I know I missed a few review replies last chapter, and I'm sorry. I read and loved every review!**

**-Since I know how it grosses some of you out, if you don't want to see Bella being _intimate _with anyone other than Jasper, ignore everything after the XOXOXOXO's (Come on, though. You know you wanna read it). Thanks!**

After a few more kisses and soft words, we made our way back to our friends. Angela's eyes were full of laughter as she took in our disheveled appearance, but thankfully, she kept quiet. I was really beginning to love that girl. With a kiss on the cheek, Peter went to the kitchen to grab a beer and hang out with Jasper and Ben.

"What have you two been doing?" Angela teased quietly. "Seriously, I'm gonna need some details here, soon. I'm living vicariously through you from here on out."

"Nothing happened. Just a little kissing." Her look of disbelief made me roll my eyes. "Honestly," I swore. "And, why the hell do you need to live vicariously through me? You're married to a doll!"

"I know, I know. Ben is seriously amazing and trust me when I say he's a champ in the bedroom, so don't get me wrong... I just think Peter would probably be the kind of guy who'd throw you up against a wall. I've been married so long, we practically schedule sex into our planners," she explained, pink cheeked and giggling.

Of course the guys chose that very moment to bust back into the room. "What are you girls up to?" Ben asked with narrowed eyes.

"Nothing. Just talking about how much fun we had tonight," Angela replied smoothly. "Sue has us laughing the whole time."

"Yeah, I really like her," Peter agreed. "She's feisty." And just like that, the subject was changed.

It was getting late. My phone display read 12:30 as everyone stood to leave. "You wanna crash at my house tonight?" Jasper asked Peter. My stomach clenched with something that felt a lot like dread as I waited for Peter to answer.

"Nah, man. I'm gonna stay here tonight. We'll hang out later this week, if you want to," he replied, casually tossing his arm over my shoulder. Jasper glared at me for just a second- one split second, before his face cleared and he smiled tightly.

"Alright. You guys have a good night, then," he muttered as he walked out the door.

"Bye, Jasper. Do you wanna come over tomorrow? I'll make fajitas?" I felt like I was begging.

"Maybe. Call me in the morning," he answered, his eyes softening a bit.

I kissed Angela on the cheek and blushed fiercely when Ben kissed mine. Angie smirked at me, knowing I was flustered.

"I'll call you tomorrow," she promised, on her way out the door. I knew she'd be looking for details, and I was actually excited to have something to share.

XOXOXOXO

Once the door was closed firmly behind everyone, things moved very quickly. I wanted Peter; badly. It had been so long since I'd been with anyone and I was long past frustrated. We made our way upstairs, slowly and clumsily. We couldn't stop touching. His lips attacked my neck and my hands slid under his shirt to rub and lightly scratch his back. Finally, finally we made it to my bedroom. Clothes were pulled and torn as we panted and rubbed our bodies together.

I backed onto my bed and pulled Peter with me, so he hovered above me. Balancing on one arm, he buried his hand in my hair and lifted my face to meet his in a searing kiss. His tongue found mine immediately and they rubbed together slowly and sensually. I was lost. Peter was such a good kisser, it was easy to get carried away.

His hand moved from my hair to my panties and his fingers wrapped around the fabric, pulling it slowly down my left hip. I arched my body off the bed and his moved his hand to the right side, sliding them to my knees. My left leg bent, escaping the fabric, as I wrapped it around Peter's waist, rubbing my dripping pussy against his hard, cotton covered cock.

Peter let out a raspy moan and dropped his face to my neck, taking a deep breath before lightly biting the tendon near my collar bone. My hands traced slowly down his defined abs, sliding underneath his soft boxers and wrapping around his hard, hot, and heavy erection. His body curved inward, keeping his cock in my reach as he kissed and licked at my aching nipples.

Within minutes, we were both writhing messes as we worked together to remove his boxers. He nestled himself within my folds, rocking his hips slowly. He slid easily, coated in my wetness, and I cried out as the head of his dick roughly rubbed against my swollen, sensitive clit. His chest vibrated with his moan and we kissed and kissed as we pressed our bodies together, unable to get close enough.

"Jesus, Peter, I need you!" I moaned against his mouth. He positioned himself against my opening and pressed forward. "Fuck," I cried out as I stretched to accommodate him. Our bodies felt so good together, it was hard to concentrate. Once he was fully seated, I panicked when I realized we forgot something. "Peter, please tell me you have a condom," I begged.

"What?" he moaned against my breast. He pulled out quickly and searched my face. "I don't think I do. You don't have any?"

"No," I answered, shaking my head. I wanted to cry.

"You're not on the pill?" he asked, his eyes wild.

"I'm... no. I'm not."

"Shit," he muttered, rolling off of me. He lay beside me and pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes. His chest rose and fell so rapidly, as he struggled to control his breathing. Our eyes met and I know we wore matching looks of disappointment and desperation. My mind was working to find a solution, but coming up with nothing. In a town like forks, even the convenience stores close at nine o'clock. I buried my face in Peter's shoulder, trying not to cry from frustration.

"Well," he began in a rough voice, "there are certainly other things we can do to take the edge off."

My head snapped up so quickly, I nearly rolled off the bed. Peter wore a wicked grin as he roughly grabbed my hips and moved me up his body until I was straddling his face. He wrapped his arms around my legs and lowered me to his mouth. He wasted no time, giving me one long lick from my opening to my clit. I whimpered as he licked slowly around that swollen, throbbing bundle of nerves. Shakily, I held onto the headboard and shamelessly ground my pussy into his face

After an eternity, he opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around my clit. My body convulsed as he sucked hard. He bit down lightly and moved his tongue quickly while he sucked and sucked and sucked. I saw stars and then nothing as I came harder than I ever had before. His tongue was still moving against my sensitive flesh when I regained use of my limbs. I slid off his face and fell backwards onto the bed, my head positioned right next to his naked hip.

"Fucking shit, Peter, that was," I paused unable to come up with a word to describe the goodness that was his mouth.

He laughed against my thigh, where he was pressing small kisses. "I'm glad you enjoyed it," he said smugly.

His understatement made me smile widely. I turned my face into his hip and pressed a kiss to his bare skin. "Your turn," I whispered, rolling over and crawling between his legs. When I was face to face with his beautiful, thick, hard cock, I pressed my flat tongue against his shaft and licked from the base to the head. His hands wrapped around my hair, guiding me lightly, but not fucking my face. I took my time, wanting him to feel as good as he made me feel. When he came, he pulled my hair and cursed and pulled me by my armpits to lay against him.

Peter's steady heartbeat lulled me to sleep, exhausted and satisfied.

**Wowza. :)**

**Reviewers get a surprise.**


	16. Chapter 16

**I have a problem. I have been writing a new story. I can't help it. I am excited about it and have written 10,000 words so far. I'm sorry, but that's the entire reason this chapter took so long (well, not the entire reason. Real life is so strange for me right now!). I couldn't stop writing the other story to write this one. I'm gonna do it the right way this time, I think, and not post one single word of the new story until it's complete. :) Are you excited?**

**Me too. Also, I promise not to get caught up in the other story again between now and the next update. (Well, I promise to try not to get caught up.)**

I woke up surrounded by the smell of warm, sleepy boy. I burrowed my way into Peter's arms and nuzzled against his neck.

"Good morning," he murmured, kissing me on the forehead.

"Morning," I sighed back.

His free hand traced a lazy circuit from my hip to my shoulder, over and over again, nearly soothing me back to sleep. We both jumped when Peter's phone began to ring. He sighed heavily and leaned over the bed to grab it from his pants pocket. He was frowning at his phone as he settled back onto the pillow, and I watched his brow furrow even deeper as the voice-mail alert chimed.

"Everything okay?" I asked, running my hand gently through the bit of soft hair below his belly button.

"Uh, yeah. Just a weird number," he answered dismissively.

"What the hell time is it?" I mumbled.

"It's just past eight." He kissed my shoulder with a smile. "I hate to, but I need to run. I have some work to catch up on today." His arms tightened around my waist and pulled my very naked body to his. I moaned as his thigh slipped between my legs and tried not to rub myself all over him.

"It's okay. I'll talk to you soon?"

"Yeah, wanna get together tomorrow? Maybe I can bring over a movie or something?"

"That sounds good," I answered with a grin. He buried his hands in my hair and kissed me, long and slow and deep. I barely even worried about my morning breath and my hands wandered over his chest and down his arms.

"Fuck, I really do have to go," he groaned as he rubbed his hard length against my slick heat. Slowly, painfully, he pulled back and slipped out of the bed. I watched, unashamed, as he dressed quickly. He caught me ogling him and smirked. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he asked, kissing me on the forehead.

"Yep, sounds good," I yawned. "Have a good day!"

XOXOXOX

Over the next week, Peter and I saw each other several times. We were always joined by Jasper or Angela and Ben, though, so our physical relationship hadn't progressed at all. In fact, we were lucky if our goodnight kisses managed to become heated. I really liked Peter, so this was a little frustrating for me. As I got to know him, I realized how funny and kind he was as well as the fact that he was undeniably hot. He got along with all my friends and he gave me butterflies. Everything seemed pretty much perfect.

Well, it would have been perfect, other than the fact that I was so completely wrapped up in his fucking cousin. My god, Jasper was under my skin. He and I spent time together every single day, whether it was to work on the house or just hang out. I needed a distraction and Peter provided that.

It had been two weeks since Peter spent the night with me and I was more than ready to move our relationship forward. We had plans to watch a movie at his house and I was going to pack a picnic basket for our supper. I had a bag packed, just in case, hoping he didn't think I was being too forward or presumptuous.

I didn't need to worry, though. As soon as he answered the door, he grabbed my bag and took it to his bedroom. My stomach exploded with butterflies and my smile was impossible to hide. We ate sun dried tomato sandwiches and veggie chips and snuggled in for the movie. Before long, the movie was forgotten and I was in Peter's lap, grinding against him. We were both panting and flushed when he shifted to the edge of the couch, wrapped his hands around the bottom of my thighs, and lifted me with him as he rushed to the bedroom.

We kissed and kissed as we undressed each other in a frenzy. We used our mouths and our hands to bring one another so close to the edge that we were both moaning and writhing. Peter grinned wickedly as he reached into the top drawer of his bedside table. I giggled as he nearly fell off the bed putting on the condom. He lined himself up at my entrance and he kissed me deeply as he pushed himself forward. I sighed happily and wrapped my legs around him just as the doorbell rang.

We both froze, wide eyed. "Fuck!" he groaned into my shoulder. "Let's wait it out. They'll leave. Right?" he said with wild, lust filled eyes. He sighed as the person at the door began knocking. "Mother fucker." The doorbell sounded again and again and he pulled out of me, cursing the whole way. "I'm fucking coming!" he shouted loudly. He threw away the condom, slipped on his boxers and a t-shirt, and dropped a kiss on my forehead.

"Do. Not. Move," he commanded. "I fucking mean it. Don't move a muscle!"

I smiled and saluted him. "I'll be waiting," I said, lying back on the pillows and willing my heart to calm down.

I heard the door open followed by muffled voices. I looked around his room from my point on the bed. It was nice. Very manly, with browns, taupes, and creams. He didn't have a lot of junk. Just a few pictures of family and friends scattered around, and a bowl on his dresser that housed his wallet, watch, and loose change. I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

I had been lying there forever when I heard what sounded like crying. A glance at the clock showed me that a half hour had passed. I decided to get dressed and offer to come back some other time. It sounded like someone was very upset and I didn't want to be in the middle of any drama.

My heart stopped and my brow furrowed in confusion when I walked into the living room. A lovely girl was sitting next to Peter on the couch. He had his arms around her and her legs were thrown over his. A look of pure devotion covered both of their faces as they stared at each other. I cleared my throat, needing some sort of explanation, and both of their eyes snapped to me. Her lovely face transformed into something very, very ugly as she took me in and my heart sank as I noted the panic in his eyes. Her eyes narrowed and her mouth thinned and she turned back to Peter to demand, "Who the fuck is this?"

While I carefully watched his face, he regarded me cooly and said the worst thing possible, "She's nobody, Charlotte. I swear-" I didn't hear anything else as blood pumped loudly in my ears.

I nodded, accepting defeat. I grabbed my bag from his bedroom, ignoring him as he called my name, and walked out the front door, tuning out the loudly arguing couple. The whole way home, I was numb. "What a motherfucker," I said right out loud to myself as I turned onto my street. I couldn't believe Peter was such an asshole! As I pulled into my driveway, I saw Jasper's truck next to the shed. With a deep sigh, I turned off the truck and walked into the backyard to find him.

**What's gonna happen, next?  
****Oh, also, I think I got everyone who reviewed, but if you didn't get your outtake, please just let me know and I'll send it!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Well, howdy. It's been a while. I apologize, but writer's block has been a bitch. I could NOT get this chapter to cooperate. Also, I'm sorry for not replying to comments last chapter. The review replies weren't working for a while, but I'm gonna take the time to do that as soon as this posts... Thanks!**

I found Jasper sitting on the back porch, drinking a bottle of water and wiping sweat from his forehead. "Hey, there!" he said with a grin as I walked through the screen door.

"Hey," I mumbled, trying very hard not to let my sadness show in my face.

"What's wrong?" he asked with wide eyes. Fuck. So much for that. I should never play poker.

I took a deep, calming breath, preparing to brush him off and settle into our usual light banter. "Who's Charlotte?" The words flew from my mouth with no warning.

"What? Why do you ask?" Jasper asked with a frown.

"Well, she's at Peter's house, and I just wondered who she was." I shrugged.

"She's at- what the fuck?" he muttered with a grimace. "She's his ex."

"Oh."

"What happened?" he asked and something about the way he looked at me made the words pour out. I told him everything, which in retrospect was maybe a little TMI, but I needed someone else's take on my day. My ridiculous, fucked up day.

By the time I finished my story, my eyes itched to release tears and I felt very, very stupid. "I don't know what's so wrong with me. It seems like nobody thinks I'm worth sticking around for," I sniffled, feeling so sorry for myself.

"Bella, you are absolutely worth sticking around for," Jasper assured me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me into his side. "Your choice of men, however, is just lame."

I smiled a tiny smile and wiped my ridiculous tears away. "God, I just feel so fucking dumb! I really thought he liked me."

"He did. I know he did. He talked about you to me all the time," Jasper assured me, a look of disgust crossing his face. "He's just had this unhealthy relationship with Charlotte forfuckingever. They're completely codependent and completely absorbed in each other. If they're getting back together, I can guarantee I won't see Peter for at least a month. He just disappears when she's around."

I sighed and buried my face in his shoulder. "I really want to kick his ass," I muttered, feeling a little mean.

"Me, too," Jasper replied.

"And that stupid Charlotte's ass," I added, barely joking.

"I'd pay to see that," he murmured into my hair, rubbing his fingers gently on my bare arm. I smiled into his shoulder, wishing I could just curl up against him for the rest of the night.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him. "I didn't think you were gonna work on the garden today."

"I hope it's okay that I'm here," he started, smiling when I rolled my eyes. "I went to see Alice earlier today and she wasn't doing too great. They had to put her back on the vent last night, and I guess I just needed something to take my mind off everything."

I pulled back enough to look at his face. How had I not noticed how sad my friend looked? He had dark circles below red rimmed eyes. His mouth and jaw were tense and he looked so, so exhausted. "Oh, Jesus, Jasper! I can't believe I just spent the last half hour complaining about my pathetic love life and you've got so much worse to deal with!"

"Stop it!" he said firmly, grasping my arm tighter when I scoffed. "Truly. I'm glad you feel like you can talk to me. You help me feel like a regular person instead of the guy everyone pities. It helps so much that you talk about your problems and don't treat me with kid gloves. Seriously."

I nodded hesitantly and glanced at my watch. "Did you eat supper?" I asked, noticing it was eight o'clock.

"Nah, not yet."

"Come on," I said, walking to the kitchen. I made Jasper a couple of turkey sandwiches and grabbed some corn chips and salsa. "I hope this is okay," I said nodding to the food. "I know it's not fancy, but it'll fill you up."

"It looks good," he replied with a small smile.

"Want a beer?"

I grabbed two Killians out of the refrigerator at his nod and sat across from him at the table.

"Wanna hang out a while? We could watch bad TV and be miserable together," I suggested.

"Sure," he mumbled around his food.

"Okay!" I said happily, glad I'd have some company for the evening. My night had shifted gears really quickly and I felt a little disoriented. And horny. I left Jasper to finish his sandwiches and went upstairs to calm down a bit. I splashed water on my face, brushed my teeth, and changed into a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. When I got back into the living room, he was already in the living room, flipping through the channels.

He paused on an episode of Seinfeld and looked up as I walked in the room. The weight of his gaze made me feel beautiful and I felt my chest and cheeks flush at his attention. "Did you find something good to watch?" I asked as casually as I could manage.

"Seinfeld okay?"

"Sounds good to me."

I grabbed a blanket and sat next to Jasper on the couch. He lifted his arm for me to slide underneath and I covered us and snuggled in.

This was new, this snuggling. My rational side understood that it was innocent; just two people having a hard day getting a little comfort by being close to someone we cared about.

My horny side was struggling a bit. I took a deep, calming breath, regretting it almost immediately as I took in his scent. He smelled like minty soap and outside and I wanted to smell him all over- with my tongue.

Slowly, I sat up. I nearly had to force myself to slide away from him. I propped a pillow next to the arm of the couch and leaned against it, tucking my feet under Jasper's leg. I didn't want him to know the problem I was having keeping my thoughts innocent.

Things were going smoothly for a moment, and then Jasper grasped my ankles and pulled my feet into his lap. He absentmindedly began massaging the arch of my left foot and it felt so good there was no stopping my quiet moan. He froze.

I froze.

I warily looked up and was stunned when I met his heated gaze.

**Oh man. I know I suck so much for ending it there. Pretty please forgive me.**

***Those of you who pray, my family could really use it right now. Thank you***


	18. Chapter 18

**Okay. I'm pretty nervous about this one. Um... Yep. This is definitely NSFW, so.. on with it.**

Jasper pressed his thumbs into my arch again, harder this time. I felt a tingling warmth from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head. My cheeks were warm and I was breathless and panting. He slowly spread his thumbs apart and began to knead the tender ball of my foot. My head fell back against the arm of the couch and my eyes closed as I relaxed into the massage. My body was too aware of his body. I felt everything. When he shifted towards me, the hem of his t-shirt tickled the top of my foot and I squirmed just enough that he noticed.

A wicked, evil, beautiful smirk covered his face as he realized what happened. "Are you ticklish?" he asked me with eyes full of mischief.

"No," I half gasped half moaned. Jasper's fingers ran so lightly along the bottom of my feet, making me laugh and writhe uncontrollably.

"You're not, huh?" he chuckled as he attacked. I dug my feet under his leg, but he just reached up a bit and tickled my knees. We were both laughing and he held me down as I wiggled, trying to escape. We suddenly both became acutely aware of the position we were in. He was half on top of me with his hand covering my thigh. Our faces were so close, I could have kissed him just by raising my head a few inches.

Jasper's eyes closed and he took a deep breath. When he opened them, his eyes immediately found mine. I watched, enthralled, as his stare became much more intense. He shifted forward just barely and I swore he was going to kiss me, but instead his eyes hardened and he smoothly, but quickly backed away from me, settling into the arm of the couch once again.

Embarrassed, I sat up slowly and tucked my feet beneath me. I grabbed the blanket from the floor and covered my legs, shifting my focus to the television. The silence between us was thick and awkward and I wasn't exactly sure how to get us back to normal.

Jasper let out a huge yawn. It could have been genuine, but I doubted it. "Well, I think I'm gonna head on home. I'm just about ready for bed."

"Okay," I agreed with a nod. "I hope you have a good night. You coming over tomorrow?"

"Nah, I think I'm probably going to visit Alice most of the day, and I have a lot of shit to take care of at home."

I swallowed my disappointment and walked him to the door with a smile on my face. "Okay, well, have a good weekend, then. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he replied as he walked through the door.

Lying in bed that night, I couldn't stop the tears that fell down my face. I wasn't even sure why I was crying. My whole body just felt tired and sad. I drifted to sleep with a heavy heart.

xoxoxo

The next morning, I stayed in bed. I didn't want to get up. Maybe I was depressed, maybe I was just tired. All I knew was that getting out of bed sounded like the last thing I wanted to do, so I didn't. I dozed off an on all morning long and when I finally dragged myself into the shower, it was afternoon. I took my time in the shower; shaving, exfoliating, washing everything twice. My fingers were prunes by the time I finished up. I wrapped myself in a big, fluffy towel and, without dressing, headed downstairs to make a sandwich.

Standing in front of the refrigerator, my skin tightened into gooseflesh and I smiled. Something about being chilly in the dead heat of summer has always made me happy. Water dripped from my skin onto the tile as I threw together a tomato sandwich. Grabbing a glass of water, I made my way into the living room. I felt very rebellious, eating in the living room in my towel and I smiled to myself as I turned on the television. Some terrible man-hating Lifetime movie was on and I got sucked into the drama.

I was so into the movie that I nearly jumped out of my skin when the doorbell rang. I ran to the door and peered out onto the porch. There stood Jasper, looking more handsome that he should with day old stubble and a plain, black t-shirt. I tightened my towel securely and opened the door a crack.

"Hey Jasper."

"Hey, can I come in?" his voice was so sad and I opened the door wide to let him in, not caring about my state of undress. He was miserable and it broke my heart.

"Are you okay?" I asked in alarm, as he wrapped his arms around me tightly, burying his face in my neck.

"Not really," he mumbled into my skin. "I just need to be around you for a while. Is that okay?"

"Of course!" I let him hold me close as I ran my fingers through his hair. "Jasper? Why don't you go have a seat and I'll run upstairs and get dressed, okay? I'll be right back."

I felt his fingers tighten against my back. His entire body stiffened and froze as if he just realized he was hugging me as I stood in my towel. I trembled in his arms as he let out a gust of air against my skin, and slowly ran his nose along my neck to my ear. "Oh, god," he moaned quietly, his lips barely touching my skin.

"Jasper?" I whispered, undeniably turned on, but not sure what was going on his head. "What-"

My question turned into a moan as he took my earlobe into his mouth, sucking lightly and scraping his teeth against the sensitive skin. I melted into his arms as he kissed and licked from my ear to my shoulder, his scruffy cheek scratching me lightly. He lifted his head, looking deep into my eyes. Whatever he saw there spurred him on, as he lowered his face and gently touched his lips to mine.

I gasped and he drew my bottom lip into his mouth as my lips parted. He was perfection. His tongue traced softly the entire length of my lip before delving shyly into my mouth. Our tongues touched for the first time and a loud moan rumbled from his chest.

My control snapped completely as I wrapped myself around him, opening my mouth wider against his. My hands wrapped around his hair and I pulled him tightly to me, wanting him as close as possible. Things moved quickly as we walked clumsily to the couch, our lips never leaving each other.

I never wanted to stop kissing Jasper. I had wanted him for so long and was quickly finding that the reality was so much better than anything I could have imagined. He smelled so good, and felt so warm and firm against me. I wanted to give in and just rub myself against his body.

Jasper pulled me into his lap as he sat on the couch and my legs automatically straddled his. His hands fell to the bottom of my towel and wrapped around my thighs. I pulled his face back to mine and our frantic kiss was such a contrast to his gentle hands. He traced the hem of the towel from the tops of my thighs to the sides and back again, over and over. When he barely let his fingers slip beneath the towel, I jumped and raised my head, breaking our kiss. I watched as his hands disappeared slowly, barely touching my skin as they ran up the sides of my thighs to grasp my hips.

The towel began to part at the bottom, revealing more of my legs to Jasper's hungry eyes. He moved his hands up, tracing my sides, and up to my ribs, bringing the towel up as well. My lower body was completely exposed as his thumbs slowly caressed the bottom of my breasts. His eyes flew to mine and I was startled by how dark they were, his pupils were almost completely dilated and he looked feral.

Moving my hands to the top of my towel, I untucked the ends, letting the whole thing fall away so I sat completely naked in Jasper's lap. My stomach clenched as I realized this. I was _naked_ in _Jasper's_ lap. His eyes fell to my heaving, flushed chest and he smirked as he lowered his mouth to one of my achingly hard nipples. He flattened his tongue against my pebbled flesh and I couldn't stop my shiver or my moan. His hands roamed my body freely, his right settling on my left hip, gripping tightly as I writhed in his lap and his left hand cupped my right breast, running his thumb firmly against my nipple as his mouth explored my left side.

My hands were wrapped around his hair, rubbing and scratching his scalp and pulling his hair. I was coming undone and he was still completely dressed. I grabbed the back of his t-shirt and dragged it up his back slowly. When he raised his head and lifted his arms, I threw it to the floor and fused myself to him again, sighing at the sensation of his skin against mine.

Our lips met again, slowly and softly, as we wrapped our arms around each other tightly. His hands ran a soothing circuit from my hips to my shoulders several time before his hands gripped my bottom and pulled me tightly to him. I gasped out loud as the seam of his jeans rubbed roughly against my clit and he responded by slowly rocking into me.

I backed away slightly and he attached his lips to my shoulder as I struggled to unbutton his jeans. He lifted his hips as I slipped the denim and the soft cotton of his boxers down to his knees. I felt him kick the fabric free of his legs as I settled against him again. We both moaned as his hard, sensitive cock nestled against my hot, wet center. I wanted to cry in relief as we rocked gently against each other, creating a bit of friction.

He wrapped his arms around my thighs and shifted us so I lay on my back and he hovered over me, smiling. He kissed me hard and ran his hands along my inner thighs, pressing out gently to spread me open. His body slid sensuously against mine as he lowered himself slowly to bury his face in my pussy. I cried out and raised myself onto my elbows to watch as he licked me slowly with a flat tongue from the bottom of my weeping, aching, open vagina to my clit. His tongue traced around my pulsing bundle of nerves several times before he wrapped his lips around it, alternating between biting, sucking, and licking me.

My orgasm came quickly and I shook from the intensity of it and from the relief of having Jasper in this intimate way. He kissed his way slowly back up my body, not pausing until he reached my lips. His cock slipped into me and we both hissed as he slowly began to rock inside of me.

I knew he was getting close when his breath hitched and his movements became jerky and not as rhythmic. His hand at my clit made me come undone and he followed seconds later, collapsing on top of me. Kisses against my chest and caresses against my hip lulled me to sleep.

When I woke up, I was alone on my couch. I stretched and sat up, smiling when I saw Jasper sitting quietly in my recliner. My smile fell from my face and my heart fell into my stomach when his tortured gaze met mine.


	19. jpov review reply

**I'm working on the next real chapter. I'm gonna try my very best to post it by Sunday. **

***Warning: This is short! It's not a real chapter! This was meant to be sent out in the review replies with chapter 18 and I forgot to offer it, so here it is. Please, for the love of all that is holy and pure, don't complain about the length. Thanks, and I love you. :)**

"Do not resuscitate."

I sighed heavily as I signed the papers my mother-in-law presented me. Her eyes were dull, her mouth drawn. I understood. It felt as though I was much older than my thirty-one years. I could hear Mary's comforting words, but they seemed so hollow.

"Do not resuscitate."

I didn't want Alice to suffer, but I was so damn selfish. To imagine my life without her was... impossible.

And now, because of the papers I signed, if she took any more turns for the worse, they wouldn't try to save her. I felt sick.

In a daze, I left the hospital. Aimlessly, I drove, until I was turning into her driveway. My feet moved on their own accord and I was ringing her doorbell before I'd really even made the decision to get out of the car. My senses felt dull, my reaction time was delayed.

When Bella opened the door, all I could do was wrap myself around her and soak up any comfort she could offer. She was so warm, and she smelled so sweet and I just wanted to hold her forever... And then she told me to have a seat while she dressed and I realized that this warm, sweet smelling girl in my arms wasn't dressed. Her towel was a little damp and her skin was dewy and covered in gooseflesh and her shoulders were bare and her legs were almost completely exposed.

I completely and immediately lost control.


	20. Chapter 20

**I love you guys. :) I know I didn't respond to most of your reviews re: the JPOV I posted the other day, BUT LOOK! I'm posting again! On time! It's something of a miracle, I think.**

Jasper had already thrown on his jeans and suddenly I felt very exposed. I grabbed his shirt from the floor beside the couch and threw it on, knowing I was going to need to be dressed for this conversation. At his look, I steeled myself for what was coming. I knew it would be painful, and possibly humiliating, and I wanted to be prepared.

I was frantically searching for my panties when Jasper startled me by placing his hand on my arm. "Bella," he began, his voice rough and quiet.

Jerking away from his touch, I turned toward him, giving him my full attention and trying to ignore the ache in my chest.

"I'm so sorry. This shouldn't have happened. I just-" He stopped talking and rubbed his hands over his face roughly. "Fuck!"

"It's okay, Jasper. I get it," I replied in a quiet monotone.

"No, you don't get it, Bella," the tone was harsh and I flinched, wishing I could take back the last hour. I kept quiet, letting him take the lead in this miserable and awkward conversation.

He sighed and stood, pacing back and forth in front of me. I wanted to tell him to knock it off, but bit my tongue, still waiting.

"I signed a DNR today, Bella. And then I came straight here and fucked you. Do you see how fucked up that is? How fucked up that makes me?"

"A DNR?" I asked with a gulp.

"Do not resuscitate. Basically, if Alice codes again, they're not gonna save her. This whole thing is so fucked. I need to go."

Dread seeped into every pore of my body. I was such a fool.

"Go?" I asked. Nothing made any sense.

"Yeah. I'm gonna go," he said, picking up his shoes. He put them on and then gave me an embarrassed look. "Can I get my shirt, please?"

I looked down at myself, still in shock. Nodding, I stood to go to my room. Once upstairs, I took off his shirt and folded it needlessly. My robe hung from the bathroom door, but I felt too embarrassed to just prance down the stairs in nothing but a robe. I slipped on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt.

As I passed Jasper his shirt, his eyes softened considerably. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I swear I never meant to hurt you. This is just... it was a mistake. You're my best friend. I'm sorry I fucked that up."

My eyes filled with tears at his words. I couldn't seem to process what was happening. Was he leaving for good or just to cool off? He fucked up our friendship? Was he not going to be my friend anymore?

Suddenly I was engulfed in a huge hug. "I hate myself for hurting you," he whispered into my hair. He gave me one more tight squeeze and he was gone.

The tears came quickly and I was powerless to stop them. I was kicking myself for letting him walk out my door. We obviously needed to continue this conversation. Taking a deep breath, I decided to give him a little time. If I didn't hear from him the rest of the day, I'd call him tomorrow.

The rest of the day was spent pretending I wasn't worried.

That night, I tossed and turned. Finally, around midnight, I decided to get up. I went downstairs and grabbed my laptop, figuring I could waste some time and hopefully get drowsy enough to fall asleep. As I settled in the recliner, I saw headlights through my front windows. My heart pounded as I peeked through the curtain.

I flung the door open and rushed onto the porch. Jasper didn't look surprised to see me awake and I quickly ushered him inside. His eyes were red rimmed and he looked exhausted. With a sigh, I took his hand and lead him up the stairs. I lead him to the guest room and he sat on the edge of the bed. "Get some rest," I told him. "We'll talk in the morning."

His hand wrapped around my wrist and with a gentle tug, he pulled me to stand between his legs. He rested his cheek on my stomach and wrapped his arms tightly around my hips. I ran my fingers softly through his hair, unsure what he needed from me. I longed to comfort him, but I knew I needed to guard my heart.

He kept his arms around me as he backed onto the bed, pulling me with him. He tucked me into his side and I lay against him, stiffly. "Please," he breathed. "Please, stay with me."

My body began to relax as his heartbeat soothed me, making me drowsy. "I'm so sorry I keep fucking everything up, Bella. I'm not sure how to fix anything," he whispered into the darkness.

"Just try to get some rest, Jasper. We'll try to figure it out tomorrow."

xoxoxox

I woke up with a start, feeling completely disoriented. A strong arm slowly wound its way around me. Jasper hooked his hand around my hip and twisted me so I was facing him. His lips sought out the skin of my neck and with a shuddering breath, he whispered, "I need you." I opened my mouth to speak, though I have no idea what I could have said. His mouth against mine silenced me.

"What are you-" I began, but again I was stunned silent by Jasper as he began to speak quietly but urgently.

"I never meant to fall in love with you, Bella, but I have. I do love you and I don't know what the hell to do to make this work. I'm so sorry," tears ran down his cheeks as he spoke and the armor around my heart shattered.

I pulled him flush against me and we kissed and kissed. "I love you, too," I whispered into his mouth. Our clothes were removed in a rush and our bodies joined together in a frenzy. It was so desperate, I panicked. The salt from our combined tears mixed in with the sweetness of our kisses and we clung to each other like we were afraid to let go.

We kissed and touched and made love for hours, not falling asleep until the sunlight streamed through the windows, and even then I was afraid to close my eyes. I feared more than anything that he would disappear and I'd never see him again.

xoxoxox

I woke up with a loud groan. My head was pounding and my body ached. I stretched and yawned loudly, wishing I could go back to sleep for the rest of the day. I reached to the other side of the bed, but it was empty and cold. My heart plummetted and I just knew. I dressed slowly and walked down the stairs, halfheartedly looking for Jasper. When I peeked out the front door, I wasn't surprised at all to see that his truck was gone.

I took a deep, cleansing breath and walked into the kitchen. My mouth was dry and my stomach was empty. Grabbing a huge glass of water and an orange, I stood at the counter while I ate. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I realized I was grateful for the numbness that had settled in my bones. When my phone rang, I jumped and my heart pounded painfully in my chest.

A glance at the caller ID said it was my dad and I rolled my eyes at myself for hoping otherwise. "Hey, dad," I said as a greeting.

"Hey, kiddo," he returned, his voice sad.

"Dad? What's wrong?" I asked, worried.

"I've got some bad news, Bella. Alice Whitlock passed away about seven-thirty this morning."


	21. Chapter 21

**I apologize for the delay. I hope there are still folks reading this.**

**This is actually the third rewrite of this chapter and I'm still not in love with it. I figured you'd rather have this than wait another month... I'm being obsessive.**

_A glance at the caller ID said it was my dad and I rolled my eyes at myself for hoping otherwise. "Hey, dad," I said as a greeting._

"_Hey, kiddo," he returned, his voice sad._

"_Dad? What's wrong?" I asked, worried._

"_I've got some bad news, Bella. Alice Whitlock passed away about seven-thirty this morning."_

XOXOXOX

Have you ever been to the funeral of someone you don't know? It's an awkward situation I don't recommend. When I showed up at the funeral home, I couldn't leave my car. I sat there, worrying. I most definitely didn't belong there, but I wanted to be there for Jasper. God, Jasper! I couldn't imagine what he was going through. The guilt had been tearing me apart since I found out about Alice.

I was in love with another woman's husband. I had sex with another woman's husband. Oh, Christ! I took a deep breath and opened the car door.

I hadn't heard from Jasper since that night. My calls went straight to voicemail, and though it was expected, it made me feel unsettled. My dad was standing at the front steps, waiting for me. He held his arms open for me and I fell into his hug, my whole body trembling. The guilt and worry were too much to bear.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Charlie asked as he pulled away from the hug. He gripped my elbows, steadying me.

Not trusting my voice, I nodded, and we walked into the building. I have always hated funeral homes. They're always covered by a fog of grief and loss, they smell like dead flowers, and they're always freezing.

Jasper was sitting in the family section, all alone, but surrounded by people. "Let's go pay our respects," Charlie said with a nudge. My feet dragged as we walked toward Jasper and Mr. and Mrs. Brandon.

My dad shook Jasper's hand and spoke softly to him for a few minutes. I walked up to him slowly. "Jasper," I started. "I wish I knew what to say, but know I'm here if you ever want to talk or if you just want to sit around and stare at the wall. Okay?" I asked, begging him silently to look at me. He didn't. His eyes stayed focused on the floor. His body stiffened when I pulled him into a hug, and he didn't respond at all.

My guilt hardened into a stone and settled into my belly. It was easier with the Brandons. I could tell they had accepted their daughter's death and knew she was better off. Mrs. Brandon pulled me into a tight hug and whispered quietly, "Please help us keep an eye on him. He's struggling."

I nodded silently and followed my dad to a row of seats in the middle of the room. Throughout the funeral, my eyes kept drifting to Jasper. His eyes were vacant and he sat motionless during the service.

XOXOXOX

Six days later, my dad knocked on my door with a worried crease between his brows. "Have you heard from him?" he asked, as I pulled open the door.

I didn't have to ask who he was talking about. "No. Still nothing."

"Let's go," he said with a nod. He turned and walked down the porch steps and I followed in silence.

In the truck I sighed deeply as I leaned my head against the window. My stomach clenched as we got closer to Jasper's house. I rolled my head a bit and looked at my father. "I slept with Jasper," I blurted.

"What?" Charlie's wide, shocked eyes met mine for a second before returning to the road. He pulled into a gas station parking lot and turned off the truck. He turned to look at me, his face a mixture of shock and disgust.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I really feel like I might throw up and I don't know if I need to go to his house and I'm pretty sure he hates me now, because he was with me when Alice died," I rambled without taking a breath. My poor father's face paled as several emotions flickered in his eyes.

"What the hell, Bella?" was all he could manage before he rubbed his hands roughly over his face. "Okay," he sighed. "I'm going to go check on Jasper now. You're going to stay in the car. Got it?" he asked in his dad voice.

I nodded silently, grateful that he didn't lecture me... yet. My head found it's spot back against the cool glass and I quietly watched the blurred scenery go by. When we pulled into the driveway, my dad reached over and patted my shoulder awkwardly. "We're going to talk about this when we get back to your house. Not in too much detail, please," he said and before I could form a reply, he was out of the truck and walking up Jasper's porch steps.

My eyes were trained on the front door as Charlie rang the doorbell. I watched as the wooden door opened and my stomach flip flopped when my dad disappeared into the house. My thoughts were scattered and nervous. "Christ," I muttered. Slowly, I drew in a deep, calming breath and let it out.

Minutes passed slowly as I sat waiting in the truck. Just as I was beginning to feel antsy, I heard my dad's voice, loud and strong, "Alright, Jasper. Good luck, Son, and have a safe trip."

My head whipped around and as my eyes settled on the porch, I caught a glimpse of Jasper. He looked... good. Somehow, I was startled to see him looking so put together when I was falling apart. I was so embarrassed by my thoughts, realizing just how self-centered I seemed.

Charlie was silent as he slid into the truck. The smell of cigarette smoke and peppermint soothed my frazzled nerves and I waited for him to speak... and waited. He didn't speak one word until we pulled into my driveway. He cut the engine and turned to meet my eyes.

"Jasper is leaving," he said calmly. "He specifically asked that you not try to contact him." I opened my mouth to protest, but he continued, "Now. Let's get in the house. We obviously need to talk."

**I know, I know. The next chapter is definitely coming along easier than this one, so the wait will be minimal. I feel terrible for the wait between last chapter and this one, but know I'll never abandon this story. Real life is insane sometimes, but even if it's slow, this story will make it to the end.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Well, howdy. Anyone still with me? Writer's block is a huge bitch. You ladies... are not bitches. Thanks for being so patient. I psyched myself out with the change in my outline, so it looks like I'm going to stick with my original plan. Hopefully, that won't piss too many folks off.**

**Thanks SO MUCH to abbymickey24 for helping me work through this chapter. There's no way this chapter would have ever seen the light of day without her encouragement and gentle harassment. ;)**

"Oh, Bella," my dad dropped his head to his hands. I had just explained everything to him. Everything. In retrospect, maybe it was a little too much information for my poor father, but it couldn't be helped. He had to understand.

Charlie's face went through some startling changes as I watched. His brow was pinched and his mouth tight, he looked worried. Then he looked confused- then angry. "So, what the fuck? I don't even know how to feel about this. I want to be pissed at him, and I'm a little pissed at you, too!" His grimace deepened and his face transformed into a startling shade of purple.

"Daddy?" I was definitely hoping to soften him up a bit using the "daddy" card. It didn't work.

"Seriously, Bella, what the fuck? I'll be back later," he abruptly stood and walked out the door.

Huh. I sat, stunned, at my table. My dad just walked out on me. I knew my decisions weren't the brightest, but through my entire life, I knew my father had my back. Now, I was on my own. A sudden burst of clarity and energy had me rushing through my house and out to my car.

Pulling into Jasper's driveway, my stomach clenched with nerves. I wasn't sure I could do this. He specifically asked me to stay away. Sighing, I clenched my eyes shut and sat for a few minutes, focused on breathing. A rap at my window startled me and I let out a curse.

My eyes flew up to meet a familiar face. Peter looked sheepish as he opened my door. "Sorry, Bella," he began. My eyes narrowed as I remembered the last time I saw him. He noticed the shift in my demeanor and shifted on his feet. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you, but I was afraid to call or stop by. I need to apologize to you."

"You do. You were rude and you hurt my feelings, but you are truly the last thing on my mind right now. Is Jasper here?"

Peter's eyes widened as I pushed past him. "Yeah, but he's leaving in just a few minutes. I think he's finished packing up."

Without a glance, I walked to the door and rang the bell. The sound of heavy footsteps made my heart race and I held my breath waiting for Jasper to answer the door.

He greeted me with silence. His jaw was tight, his brow was lowered, and his eyes were angry. "What are you doing here, Bella?"

"I came for an explanation," I stuttered. I cursed my voice for wavering and showing my nerves. With a heavy sigh, he opened the door wider.

"Come in."

My body reacted as I brushed past Jasper and I couldn't control my shiver or the way my skin broke into goosebumps. My heart dropped as I looked around the room. There were boxes everywhere and several suitcases next to the door. "So you're really leaving, huh?" My voice was so quiet, it was barely a whisper.

"Yeah," he breathed back. He lifted some boxes off his couch and offered me a seat. "Listen, Bella, I don't even know how to start. What we did... was a huge mistake. I was feeling really vulnerable and so lonely but I never should have been with you. I never should have said the things I said and I never should have used you for comfort."

"Used me? It was a mistake? Loving me was a mistake?" I asked dumbly, willing the conversation to make sense to me.

His bitter scoff snapped me out of my fog and when my eyes met his, I knew. "Oh," I nodded. "You don't love me at all."

His eyes were cold, but he didn't say a word. "Where are you going to go?"

"I have to get out of here. I need to explore and, as cheesy as it sounds, find myself, Bella. You don't understand how isolated I've been the past several years. I'm ready to be allowed to just.. be me."

Using every single bit of will power inside of me, I swallowed hard around the enormous lump in my throat and looked Jasper in the eyes. "I hope you find happiness, Jasper," I said quietly, and then I turned to leave.

"Bella?" Jasper stopped me, his hand grazing my wrist. I jerked my arm back as if he burned me, and his face fell with what looked like pity. "I hope you find happiness, too." There was no way I could answer him. There were simply no words left in me, and even if there were, I was too close to tears to try and speak.

I kept my eyes low and straight ahead as I made my way to my car. The last thing I wanted was for Peter to try to apologize again. Somehow I made it, dry-eyed, to my vehicle, but as soon as I shut the door behind me, a great sob bubbled from my chest. Leaning my head on the steering wheel, I tried to catch my breath. A knock at the window startled me and Peter was there, again, looking worried. I chuckled humorlessly as I realized this was nearly exactly what happened when I arrived.

"I'm not trying to bother you, but are you okay?" he asked, looking uncomfortable.

"Yeah," I sniffled. "I'll be fine." I pasted on a small, insincere grin. "I'll see ya around." Meeting his gaze briefly, I watched as he tried to work out what happened. His forehead wrinkled as he looked first at me, then at the house, then back at me with slightly wider eyes.

Without saying anything else, I shifted the car to reverse and backed out of the driveway. The drive home lasted an eternity. Holding in my tears was giving me a headache and I just wanted to get home so I could fall apart in my own bed.

My dad's truck was in my driveway and I was surprised to find him sitting on my porch swing. "Oh, baby girl, are you okay?"

"No," I cried and crawled up next to him on the swing. He wrapped his strong daddy arms around me and held me tight as I sobbed into his chest. I slowly drifted to sleep with the soft breeze, my dad cooing softly into my hair, and the slow gentle sway of the swing.


	23. Chapter 23

**Hello, Beautiful. Yes, you. I love how understanding you are about my slowpoke pace. You're very romantic. Looks like about 5 more chapters. You should see them by... I'm gonna say... 2015. :) Finally, a deadline I actually think I can make.**

"Okay, this is over," I startled as Sue's sharp voice pierced through my sad fog. My eyes snapped to hers and I was confused by the determination I found there.

"What?" My face felt hot as I watched hers twist into a mask of disbelief.

"What? Really, Bella? This whole moping thing you've got going on is over right now. I've let you wallow for over a week. No more. You weren't this torn up when you got divorced and I'm not planning to let this continue." I tried interrupting, but she was truly on a roll. "I've made a list of the things left to do with the house. I also made lists of everything we need to finish shopping for and," she continued on, handing me several sheets of paper, "I've made a list of people here in town who can finish the garden for you."

My throat tightened when she mentioned the garden. I opened my mouth to object, but the look in her eyes was enough to stop my words. "Isabella Swan, don't you dare open that mouth. This is what is going to happen. You deserve so much more than this and I'm not going to rest until you know that." Her words were softened by an enormous hug, but they were definitely hard to hear.

"Just give me a few minutes, okay?" She nodded and I went into my bedroom. Looking in my closet, I picked out a cute, but comfortable tank top and jeans. In my lingerie drawer, I found my very favorite bra and panty set. They were ridiculously expensive and beautiful, and I wore them when I needed a little extra boost of confidence.

A quick look in the bathroom mirror made me shudder. My face was sallow and sad and the circles under my eyes were impressive and very noticeable, even from a distance. Turning on the shower, I took a deep breath and focused on letting go of all my negativity. I wasn't a fifteen year old girl: I was a grown woman, and I intended to act like one.

After a very soothing shower, I caught myself humming as I brushed and flossed my teeth. That seemed like a good sign to me. I put on deodorant for the first time in- I couldn't remember how long, and slipped into my gorgeous underwear. I quickly dressed and met Sue in the kitchen.

"Feel better, Sweets?" she asked quietly, pulling me into another of her wonderful hugs.

"I do, Sue. Thanks for kicking my ass," I smiled.

"No problem. Now, go put on some shoes and comb that hair. We're going out."

XOXOXO

"Oh, my god, can we please go home now?" I'm not too proud to admit I was whining. In my defense, Sue was a marathon shopper, while I was a "get in, get out" kind of girl. She dragged me to Seattle, kicking and screaming, and I would swear we visited every single housewares and furniture store in the city. She was unstoppable and I was exhausted.

"Let me check," she mumbled, digging through her pocketbook to find her lists. Those damn lists were killing me. "I think we got everything on the list. You wanna look for some clothes? My treat!" My face told her everything she needed to know. "Okay, okay! Damn, Bella. You're no fun to shop with at all!"

"I could say the same about you," I breathed. We quickly made our way to her ridiculously oversized SUV and I heaved a huge sigh of relief as I settled into my seat.

"Lightweight," Sue teased, putting the key in the ignition.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just get home. I have a ridiculous load of shit to unload when I get there."

The drive home was filled with teasing and laughter. It was nice to giggle and feel something other than disappointment for a while.

"Sue," I began shyly, "thanks so much."

"For what?" she asked, bemused.

"Well, for getting me out of the house, for one. And, for helping me snap out of my fog. And, for just being there. I love you and I'm so glad you and my dad found each other."

"Oh, Bella. I love you, too, but stop being melodramatic. It's just time to get back to real life."

I sat quietly, tossing her words around in my head. She was right, after all. The situation was terrible, and I was very, very hurt, but it was ridiculous to think I could stop living my life.

It was nearly midnight when we pulled into my driveway. My dad's truck was in the driveway and I smiled when I saw him sitting on my porch steps, stubbing out his cigarette. "Hey, girls. How'd it go?" his face was wary as he studied my reaction. He knew how I felt about shopping.

"It was good, Dad. Just what I needed."

He smiled sweetly as he pulled me into a hug. "I'm glad, Bells. We've been worried."

"I know you have. I'm sorry," I whispered. "Now, help me get all these bags into the house, please."

XOXOXO

Time passed.

The crew that Sue hired to finish my lawn was extremely efficient. They were finished in three days. My dad and Ben had finished all the little projects I still had going, and my house was finally, finally, officially finished.

School was scheduled to begin in less than a week, and I had been spending a ton of time getting my classroom ready. I was actually looking forward to it. It had been a while since I was excited about the beginning of a school year, but it was just the distraction I was looking for. My room was organized and ready to go by the time I left that Thursday night, and I was ready to decompress. I stopped off at the store for a bottle of wine, and called Angela the minute I walked through my front door.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ang! Do you have plans tonight?"

"Well, Ben and I were meeting some friends for some drinks tonight. Come with us, please!" she sounded so excited, it was impossible to resist.

"What friends?" I hedged.

"Just Jessica and Mike, and they said they'd probably invite some people."

This was sounding less than ideal. "I feel like I'll be crashing your double date."

"No, Bella, I swear. We're just gonna meet down at Mill Creek, have some wings and nachos, and a few drinks."

"Okay, what time?" I sighed, giving in.

Getting ready was simple, as I wasn't exactly dressing to impress. I slipped on my cute butt jeans, a black tank top, an old pair of chucks, and let my hair hang loose and a little wild. I smeared on some mascara and lip gloss and called it good.

I called my dad and got him to drop me off at the bar. He laughed initially, saying it felt like ninth grade all over again. After reminding him I didn't go to bars in ninth grade, I shrugged off his teasing words. I didn't want to drink and drive.

Before walking into the bar, I took a deep breath. Determined to have a good night, I pushed open the heavy door and looked around the room. The first person I noticed was Jacob Black. He was so tall, he was hard to miss. Flashing him a quick smile and nod, I realized he was standing next to Ben.

"Where's Angie?" I mouthed from my place next to the door. He jerked his head to the left and I finally spotted my friend at a table in the back corner. There were more people sitting with her than I expected. From the looks of it, they had pushed three tables together. I waved to Angela and pointed to the bar. I was definitely going to need a drink first.

**I could use a drink myself. See you soon!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Yes, I'm going to finish this story. Hopefully, some of you will actually stick with me to the end.**

**Also, The Burning Marvelous Life was taken down... not by me. Unfortunately, I'm an idiot and didn't have it backed up and TBML is just gone. :(**

Dirty martini in hand, I made my way to the table. Angela pulled a chair from another table over next to her and patted it with a smile. "I'm so happy to see you!" she gushed, obviously tipsy.

"I'm happy to see you, too!" I laughed as she pulled me into a sloppy hug. This was either going to be a long night or an awesome one. It was too soon to decide which way it would go.

"Do you know everyone?" Angie asked, speaking very loudly, but leaning into my ear as if to whisper. I backed away quickly and shook my head no.

"I know Jessica, Mike, Jacob, and you guys. That's it."

Ben leaned around his wife with a smile and began introducing everyone. "This is Alec and his sister, Jane," he began, pointing to the two very blonde, very thin people sitting across from me. "This is Jane's boyfriend, Felix," he waved towards a large guy with a shaved head and a gorgeous face. I waved shyly.

"Down there are Nessie, Emily, and Sam. Jake brought them. I think he's seeing that Nessie girl." Angie slurred. I looked up in time to see Jacob settle in next to the pretty girl. I smiled a bit, relieved that he was dating someone.

Nessie caught my eye and I smiled politely, looking up as someone sat down at the other end of the table. "Hi, Bella," Rose said quietly. My stomach was in my throat as I nodded weakly in response. The way she looked at me told me she knew about me and Jasper. I took a huge gulp of my drink as Emmett sat next to Rose, throwing his heavy arm around her shoulders.

The next few hours were a blur. Our group was a little wild. I was on my fifth drink and laughing loudly at something Emmett said when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I flinched, spilling my drink over the table. When Rose's wide eyes met mine, I knew who was behind me. I still wasn't prepared when I saw him. Jasper was standing close to my chair, his eyes glued to me. He bent down and pressed his mouth to my ear, "Can we talk?"

My brow furrowed as I took him in. He wanted to talk? Now? I was drunk, but aware enough to realize that this was a bad idea. "I don't think so," I hissed back.

"Just five minutes," he begged. "Please, Bella?"

"Fine," I muttered, standing to follow him. We walked outside, and Jasper led me around the building to a bench. He motioned for me to have a seat and I plopped down ungracefully. He blew out a breath and paced in front of me, looking more uncomfortable than I had ever seen. His mouth kept opening and closing and I could tell he had no clue where to start.

"Why are you here, Jasper?" I finally asked him, tired of watching him flounder.

His eyes snapped to mine and he looked completely startled by my outburst. Running his fingers through his hair, he sighed. "I needed to see you," he began. "I can't get you out of my mind. I know the way I left was shitty, but it had nothing to do with you. I just-"

"It had nothing to do with me?!" I interrupted him, incredulous. "What the fuck, Jasper? You fuck me, tell me you love me, ignore me, and leave town and it has nothing to do with me?" I stood up, feeling more pissed by the second. "You know what? I'm not going to have this conversation right now. I'm drunk, I'm pissed off, and I'm bound to say something I'll regret." With that, I turned and walked back inside.

Stalking up to the bar, I took a cleansing breath. I got the bartender's attention and ordered another drink. I was not going to let Jasper ruin my night. Sliding into the seat next to Rose, I whispered quietly, "Are you to thank for him showing up here?"

Nodding sadly she answered, "I was just trying to help. He's been wanting to talk to you for a while now."

I drained my martini in one big gulp and stood up. After saying goodbye to Angela and waving politely to the rest of the table, I walked outside, pulling out my cell phone. The sound of footsteps made me pause as I searched through my contacts for my dad's phone.

"Bella, let me drive you home," Jasper begged. I hesitated and glanced at the time on my phone. It was almost two o'clock.

"Fine," I snapped, following him to his truck. Jasper tried to get a conversation going, but I stubbornly kept my head pressed against the window, looking out at the scenery flying by. When we pulled into my driveway, I didn't wait for him to speak. I jumped out of the truck and hurried to my house. As soon as the door was unlocked, I headed up the stairs, suddenly exhausted. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

x

The next morning came too soon. My mouth was dry and my head was pounding and I wanted to burrow back under the covers for a few more hours. Unfortunately, my bladder had other ideas. I was washing my hands when I heard it: someone was in my house. I grabbed the baseball bat I kept under my bed and walked slowly and quietly down the stairs. Just as I made it to the bottom of the stairs, Jasper walked into my living room. Screaming like a maniac, I pressed my hands to my chest, trying my best to keep my heart from beating right out of my body. "What the fuck are you still doing here?" I screeched.

"I thought maybe we could have that talk now," came Jasper's quiet reply.


End file.
